The Meaning of Romance

Romance in my opinion is on the rise. At least the hope for romance, the anticipation of it. So exactly what is it? Well Romance is what you make it, it's whatever makes your partner smile and feel loved and special. So lovers, here are some examples of romance to spice up your love lives.

On a Budget:

1. Send your loved one a greeting card and write how you feel on the inside.

2. Take your loved one on a picnic in the park.

3. Read your loved one poetry or mail a piece of poetry to him/her

4. Share an ice cream cone or waffle bowl ( courtesy of Marble Slab Creamery)

5. Rub your partner's feet or give them a pedicure.

6. Run your loved one a bubble bath equipped with rose pedals and candlelight.

Sit by the tub and feed them grapes or strawberries.

7. When helping them pack for a trip, hide a card or letter in their bag so they will find it while they are away.

8. Make a cd of songs expressing how you feel.

9. Make your loved one breakfast in bed: french toast with strawberries or a nice omelet with a glass of orange juice. ( feed it to them)

10. Take a late night walk ( in a safe neighborhood) under the stars and talk.

11. Make Coupons that your loved one can redeem with you good for whatever you or they like or need.

12. Make time to be with them or talk to them on the phone for extended periods.

13. Give a daily "I Love You, I applaud you and I'm happy you're in my life."

14. Give your partner a sensual massage.

15. Make a pallet on the floor in front of a fireplace.

Not concerned about the dough? Try These:

1. Take her to a very nice restaurant that's lit by candlelight.

2. Wisk her away to a nice tropical place and dine her oceanside, while there take a late night walk on the beach.

3. Buy your loved one a nice outfit and take them dancing.

4. Take your loved one to a museum or gallery opening or take in a show ( notice how the most dapper man in the country wined and dined his wife, take lessons)

5. Purchase your loved one a new wardrobe or a few key pieces.

6. Treat your loved one to a spa weekend.

7. Take an exotic vacation.

8. Fly away for dinner at an exclusive restaurant.

9. Go sailing and kiss under the moonlight.

10. Make love under a waterfall.

11. Send her favorite flowers every week to her job or send your man a special gift to his job each week.

12. Take a late night drive in a convertible on a summer night.

13. Go camping and roast marshmellows together.

Hopefully these help some of you romance challenged people and yes I have personally experienced most of these. Feel free to add to the list if you like.

Top Ten Things To Do This Summer

This summer I challenge you all to enjoy yourselves to the fullest! Life is great, even though you may be going through; find the great things in life and enjoy them. Here are some suggestions:

Top Ten Things you should do this summer

1. Run you toes through sand at the beach

- Take time to feel the sand under your feet and enjoy the squishy feeling.

2. Stand outside in the rain and enjoy the feeling of getting wet

- Do this only if you have acceptable, or weather proof hair! If you don't, get some.

3. Go play a game of Laser Tag or race Go-Karts

- Sometimes we need to feel like a kid again and have some fun for a change.

4. Tell that secret crush how you feel!

- Secretly liking someone will never manifest a real relationship.

Be bold and speak your mind, if he/she doesn't bite at least you'll know.

5. Take yourself to a show.

- Sometimes its good to be entertained by others. Find a play, concert, poetry reading.

6. Read a good book

- stimulate your mind with a good book, be it self-help, a novel or non-fiction.

7. Do something you've never done before

- time to explore new things and get our of your comfort zone. Try it, who knows

you may like it.

8. Do something that gives you an adrenaline rush!

- try bungee jumping, riding a roller coaster, sky diving, etc. A rush of adrenaline is good.

9. Take a step toward a healthier you.

-Change at least one thing in your diet for the better; drink Mona vie, eat more fruit,

cut out sweets, drink more water. Pick one.

10. Commune with God more.

- Develop a relationship with God and he'll develop one with you.

Bonus: Change your thinking

- You'll be surprised how far a positive mind can take you. It takes more strength to frown

than to smile, so turn that frown upside down. Always look for the silver lining!!

Hope this has helped someone, Amen.

Lesson 3: Enjoy life, you only got one. Make the most of it. Its the little things that mean a lot.

Hating on a Whole New Level

Ladies and Gentlemen,

When did we enter an era when we should be ashamed of the things we have worked hard for? Excuse me If I offend anyone with what I'm about to say, but since when do poor people resort to vandalising the rich or upper middle class? You can't blame someone else for your mistakes!!

I'm not saying people can't be upset about losing their jobs or having their homes foreclosed on, but its not right to go bash the windows out of your neighbors home because they are still residents in good standing. This is America, where all things are possible. If you don't believe that leave and see how fast you bring yo ass back here. People flood this country everyday for a better opportunity and yes we are in a recession, but our recession is a whole helluva lot better than some countries' economic boom. That's real.

So because we are in a recession, our President can't date his wife? Everyone assumes taxpayers paid for his trip to Broadway with his lovely wife. Uh, doesn't this man work ( and damn hard I might add) for his paycheck and didn't he write a couple books prior to the White House that gained him several million dollars? People, you are acting like he can only afford to take Michelle to Cheesecake Factory or something. You criticize him for putting mustard on his hamburger ( he thinks he's better than us!). Please, my dad puts mustard on his hamburgers and he works everyday for his money. I mean if there was ever a member of the "working class" its my dad, so really.

Its gotten so bad that people throw things at other's luxury automobiles, bash out home windows and frown upon opulence. Ummm, this is a problem. The message being sent is that misery loves company and everyone should turn over their monies and live poor like the rest of America. So untrue! Okay, let's break this down: 97% of Americans will be classified middle class and lower. That leaves 3% in the upper class, the mongo rich, so to speak. Now, how did that 3% get there? Hard work, intellect, hard work, positive thinking, drive, and did I mention hard work? Now, there are some who inherited millions, but even those funds were gained on the back of likely some immigrant who came to this country through Staten Island and again "worked hard" and took advantage of all the things this country has to offer. These people but their pants on one leg at a time as do we all, so there is no difference. We can do it also, the question is do we want to. We have the ability to live our lives by design, we just have to use it. As Chris Gardner ( Pursuit of Happyness, Author) said this morning, " The Calvary ain't coming and your life ain't gonna fall out the sky." You have to go get it. "Pursuit of Happiness"...the pursuit part means you have to do something! Make a move, get a plan, set a goal and execute. Dreams are nice but they don't come true by themselves.

So now the dreamers of the country are bashing the achievers of this country because they haven't achieved. Its not bad taste to drive a Mercedes this day in time. Dammit, If I worked my ass off for it, I want it and will drive it. What's wrong with you people? Now, I'm not saying don't be charitable. Give back, help your church, get involved in missions, help someone in need. That's what God expects us to do. The Bible says the poor will always be among us, so there is always work to be done. Be a Blessing to others so you can be Blessed! That's the key! Pay it forward!! When you help others you are Blessed beyond measure. Did you know Mother Teresa is worth more money than Donald Trump? Her foundation is rolling in millions upon millions of dollars, but we don't think about that because we see her dressing meagerly and always helping others. She's not flashy. I don't necessarily agree with having to look and act poor when you are not, but I believe in living within my means and getting the things in this life I want. We only live once, why are we spending our one time around the track miserable and not going after all we can get. If you aren't working towards something we are wasting your time here. Trust me, there ain't no do overs!

Lesson 2: Stop hating others for having what you don't. Get off your butt and get it for yourself. Tyler Perry, Chris Gardner, Jim Carrey, to name a few, were all homeless when they made a decision to no longer live that way. All it takes is a decision. If you don't like something change it. And yes, I'm taking my own advice!

A Change Gone Come

Well folks, I"m blogging because I'm embarking on a new part of my life. I've been quite unhappy for a while about my weight and now I'm doing something about it. I got myself all motivated and ready to go or as the ol campaign addage would have it: Fired up and Ready to Go!! Rev. Run told me in his daily words of wisdom a few weeks ago," If you are striving for a better, more fulfilling life, a little change in your approach can make a Huge difference!! (consider this) If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten, Change something". I watched "Why Did I Get Married " 3 times this weekend and like Sheila (Jill Scott's Character) I was down on myself and my weight. So I've decided to change it. I'm getting married next year and want to be a knock out walking down that aisle. It aint gonna happen with me just dreaming about it.

I have to admit, I've been quite nervous about this diet. Not that I don't want to loose, but because I'm afraid I won't. See, until recently, nothing ever went right in my life, negative thing after negative thing, so my mind is so conditioned to always receiving negative results. I'm so used to losing. I realize I have to change my thinking and therefore change my way of life. It took a good friend to remind me of that this morning. I finally admitted to him that I was nervous because I so desperately want this to work and I have anxiety about it not working. However, he set me straight and told me to just do the damn diet as prescribed and it will work. So, I turned it over to God, ( he knows my heart's desire) and I'm going full steam ahead.

I weighed this morning and I weighed 275 lbs. Ive never revealed my weight before to anyone, but weight watchers. Me revealing makes it more real and shows i'm serious. Im now accountable to everyone to show just how this can be done and will be done by me. I hope I'm motivating someone else as well. Follow me on this journey won't you? Here we go...This is my before shot!

Lesson 1: God has already given us the tools to make the most of this life and live a life of design. If you don't like something change it, dreams don't manifest themselves without action. Identify what you want and get moving!

Color Me Badd!!

Wow, So much has happened since I last blogged. We have a new President named Barack Obama, I went to the Inauguration, I turned 35...alot has transpired which brings me to this blog.

Last week Monday I turned 35! With that new year I resolved to make this year all about me and what I wanted. Turning 35 reassured me that I was going in the right direction. After Christmas, I prayed and prayed and prayed some more for some direction in my life. I got confirmation from my pastor on New Year's Eve that 2009 is mine and that the year should be all about me. Seriously, he said, Love yourself, let your past go, forgive yourself and embrace your future. These words really hit home with me. He was right, I spent so much time dealing with eveyone else's needs, that I totally neglected my own. I was the last person on my list of people to take care of...I wasn't even a close second, but dead last. So after much prayer and revelation, I agreed and decided to make 2009 about me and me! I prayed about my finances, my relationship, my son, etc. I decided to take a back seat and Let God have his way. He truly knows the desires of my heart and is ushering me to and through these things.

We have the power to speak life and positive things into it and that's what I have been doing and trying to do. Pray with me as I embark on this year's journey of self discovery!!

Jena 6, One Year Later

Today I as I reflect on the one year anniversary of the Jena 6 March(tomorrow) I can't help but wonder just how better off we actually are. We all (meaning black America) united for that time and rallied around these six young men, Mychal Bell in particular, and swelled our chests with pride. Proud of the fact that we could put aside our differences, proud that we would all burn up vacation days from work to aid someone other than ourselves, proud that we had the ingenuity to mastermind and participate in a march of that magnitude just like the days of King and proud that for a change we were involved in something positive period. Those of us who could not travel for whatever reason organized and held Jena 6 Rallies in our cities. ( Chris, I know, I know...you never got your Jena 6 T-shirt. I'm gonna purchase one just for you.)

This time last year we were all entrenched in black pride, unity and responsibility for our youth and their actions. So, what changed? It seems as though that day black America pushed pause to halt the Bullshit in their lives and pressed play on Socialism. Today, the bullshit meter is running rampit in our communities once again. We have a black man running for the highest office in the free world and we have 80million black folks not registered to vote! And another thing...since everyone is all enthralled in this election, how many Jena 6's have we missed. How many young children are fighting injustice right under our noses while we concentrate on why John McCain picked Sarah Palin and how much money celebrities raised for Barack Obama? Then we have the audacity to not even be registered so we can exercise our right to vote so that these injustices can end? The gall to not take advantage of the right our forefathers fought, bled and died for. But I digress.

Just today, my son came home from school telling me about a fight he had on the playground at recess. Yes he got his ass beat, but that is besides the point. Why are our children fighting each other instead of helping and looking out for one another even at this age. Train up a child in the way he/she should go and he will never depart from it. The children are our future for real. Its not just a Whitney Houston lyric. Who do you think will be taking care of you when you are old? Our children! We owe them the opportunity to grow up and grow up correctly and in the fear of God. They need to know the importance of helping others and standing for what they believe in. We should teach them the importance of a good education and to never forget where they came from, to not have the crabs in a bucket mentality and to strive to be the best in all they do. So many of our children fall through the cracks and are lost. Well, I refuse to let mine fall through even if I have to beat his ass to do it. My child will not be a statistic, he will not be referred to by a number and he will not have premature dates marking his headstone, if I can help it.

I feel like Atlas with the weight of the world on my shoulders and a phoenix as I rise from the flames of this socially inept hell. I will survive, my child will survive, my family will survive, my friends will survive. I will not fail!! I won't, I won't, I won't and neither will you! The power of the tongue is a wonderful thing isn't it?

Paradise Lost

I blog today with a heavy heart and a saddened spirit. Today is the 7th Anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy. I'm sad today because I'm remembering that day and the lives that have been eternally altered and because I'm thinking about the thousands of Americans who are still fighting this so-called "War on Terror"and those who have lost their lives. Today is the official commemoration of this tragedy, but for many men and women, "9/11" happens everyday as the officials knock on their doors and deliver the news that their son or daughter has lost their life in the war, sparked by 9/11. 9/11, 5/22, 3/19. etc. These are days families remember everyday as their lives have been altered as well.

When I got up this morning I turned on the television to Fox news and watched their replay of the 9/11 events as they happened that day. I began to weep and soon my weeping developed into a full out cry as I got ready for work. I was overwhelmed with emotion as I thought about each person who died that day without warning. I cried for the families and friends left behind. I started to reflect on what my life was like on that day...

The morning of September 11, 2001 I got up early and drove back to Columbia. I'm from Inman, a little town in Spartanburg County, and I had spent the night their with my cousin from LA. My mom and I had experienced a terrible argument and I didn't go home but spent the night with my aunt instead where my cousin was staying. I woke up early and drove back because I had to be at work at Cingular Wireless Call Center at 10am. So, I left around 6 or so. When I got home, around 8am I watched two episodes of the Sopranos that my VCR had tapped while I was away. I got ready for work, and drove to the call center. There my co-workers were all in an uproar. I asked what was going on and one said we are trying to deal with all these explosions and things. I said, "What explosions?". She proceeded to detail for me the events of the past hour and 1/2. I ran to the break room and watched the news and there it was. "Oh My God, You have got to be kidding me?" I got on my computer and the Internet was flooded with images and stories. How did I miss this? I normally watch CNN as I get dressed in the mornings, why didn't I this morning?

As I think about that day, I am reminded of a time in my life when I wasn't close to my mom. Our relationship was so strained, I questioned if she even loved me at all. Look at how far we have come and how good God is. We are best friends now and talk everyday and constantly tell each other we love one another. God is awesome. Like 9/11, it took a tragedy to bring us together. We rebuilt our lives together though and that made us stronger in and for each other. God has a way of bringing people together with the strength they need to endure tough things. Let us thank God for his infinite wisdom.

Today, I urge each American to unite with the other, encourage someone else today and let them know you are there for them. Don't let another tragedy have to happen to unify is again.