Pieces Of This Puzzle Called Life

My Michael Jackson Memories and Tribute

2011-06-25T01:02:00.000-04:00

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T21:13:00.000-04:00

Have You Seen Evelyn Shelton

2011-06-19T21:04:00.000-04:00

Courage

2011-06-16T23:05:00.002-04:00

This Time Salt is Good For You

2010-07-28T22:54:00.002-04:00

Tonight I ventured to the movies to see Angelina Jolie’s newest Action Thriller, Salt. Before I start my review I want to touch on the Previews. M. Night Shyamalan has plans to debut his newest horror film, Devil. Can’t say I am itching to see that one, especially since I absolutely hate Horror Movies. However, the trailer looked intriguing. What I am excited to see is Dwayne Johnson’s new flick, Faster, arriving in November of this year. From the preview I couldn’t really get a feel for what the actual plot is, but I’m loving anything that Massive Mound of Fineness creates. Yes, I raced to the movies to see Race to Witch Mountain! Don’t judge me!! Now back to Salt…

Ms. Angelina did her thing in this one. I’m a sucka for a great Action flick and Ms. Angie delivered. The movie is full of twists and turns and by the end, you don’t know what way is up. It definitely opens the door for a sequel. Without spoiling it, I will say it’s an Action packed, rollercoaster ride through our Nation’s Government and Security Intelligence. It also proves, women can be just as badass as men if not more so.

What I am more impressed with is the performance of Ms. Angelina herself. Prior to seeing this movie I read that she performed her own stunts, on location and not in front of the infamous Green Screen and that she had no fear whatsoever performing them. Wow! That ass kicking, mother of six is one hot chick and has fast become my favorite Actress next to Ms. Loretta Devine of course! The movie was originally written for a man with Mr. Tom Cruise slated to play the part of one Edwin Salt. However, Tom thought it was too close to his Ethan Hunt character in Mission Impossible and bailed on the project. Insert Ms. Angelina Jolie and end up with what would rival any leading man any day of the week.

With the action, the direction, the super twisted plot and Ms. Angie, I am pleased to award Salt with 5 of my Signature Raisinet Boxes and it doesn’t get any better than that!

2010-06-07T23:07:00.000-04:00

Dear Beloved,

“The only thing to fear is fear itself.” “God did not give us the spirit of fear but of love, peace and a sound mind.” Stop being scared already!

In order for someone to have dominance over you, you have to give up your power. A person can only do to you what you allow them to do. If you want to live your life with peace and a sound mind, you have to pray and Trust GOD to guide you, strengthen you and protect you. Stop being afraid to defend yourself and live your life the way you were mean to live it. The way God intended. You weren’t meant to be a doormat or a slave to anyone. You are a goddess: beautiful, intelligent, and stronger than you think. Put on the whole Armor of God and Slay the Dragon.

Look within yourself, discover who you really are and act accordingly. You are protected under the Blood of Jesus. Not get up and fight. Don’t you dare turn and run!

Love you always,
Ursula

Love Yourself First

2010-06-07T00:22:00.002-04:00

“If you don’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?” (Rupaul) Never have these words rang more true. I dare take it a step further and say, “If you don’t love yourself, don’t expect anyone else to.”
One of the things I find wrong with relationships, is one or both partner’s self esteem issue. They deem themselves not worthy of having the other, therefore put up with a whole lot of unnecessary BS because they feel they can’t do any better. Whether or not they got picked on as a child or fell victim to an abusive relationship, the symptoms are all the same.
As a person who has struggled with weight all my life, I can attest to this problem first hand. I was one of those girls picked on, told she was always overweight, constantly reminded of things I needed to change. Unfortunately, I still carry those things with me and suffer from self esteem issues. When I look in the mirror, I don’t see what others see, I see what I need to change. Therefore, I don’t demand or command the respect due me because I often feel unworthy of it. I know I’m intelligent, friendly, outgoing but sexy I don’t always feel. This leads to constant rejection even in my own mind. I expect people to reject me or brush me off, never give me a second glance because that’s what I’m used to. No matter how much I know someone loves me, until I’m totally in love with me I’ll never be able to accept someone else’s love. So what do I/we do?
First find things about ourselves we love (which technically should be everything). Change the things we don’t like instead of complaining about it. Carry ourselves in such a way that will make the most unattainable person bow at our feet. We need to stop projecting our feelings of insecurities onto our mates and then get upset with them because of what we perceive to be true. Stop with the “I knew you were gonna do this and that!” Stop expecting failure and be happy with ourselves. It’s the key to our happiness. Stop accepting BS Behavior because we don’t feel we deserve better. Stop feeling sorry for ourselves. Stop Crying. Pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start again.
You have to be happy with and love yourself first. If you don’t you can’t expect to get it elsewhere. Love yourself, love yourself, love yourself, love myself first!
Feel free to chime in if you can offer more advice to someone or to me. I’m open.

Happy Crack Has Swept the City

2010-06-02T15:16:00.002-04:00

"Yo man, let me get that grape, naw mix it with a little bit of cherry with some pink lemonade on the side!"

I'm sure you are probably wondering what in the world I am talking about. Im referencing the the new schoolyard phenom: Happy Crack! Happy Crack is a mixture of Kool-Aid, sugar and a little bit of water. This mixture crystalizes to a texture similar to fun dip. Its all the rage in the Elementary School Playgrounds and busses.

Now back in the day we used to make this same mixture but never assigned a name to it nor did we take it to school and attempt to sell it. The children of today have taken it to a whole new level and have turned the Elementary School's into New Jack City. "We taking over the Carver Elementary School!" The students have resorted to mixing, bagging and selling the Kool-Aid with the intent of obtaining a sugar high and burst of flavorful goodness as a means of starting or ending their day. While this sounds absurb, the schools here in Columbia have taken a very serious approach to containing this problem. Children have been reported, slapped with possession with intent to distribute charges and suspended from school. The rationale, the children should not be mimicking anything as deadly and addictive as Crack nor should they be in the habit of mixing anything; the makings of Meth Lab operations. While I understand the seriousness of this situation, I can't help but wonder if the name was something else would it be such a big deal?

Chime in and let me know what you think about the Happy Crack Revolution!

Dream Interpretations

2010-03-17T09:53:00.002-04:00

I have always been a big believer in receiving messages in dream form. Its always when I have a lot going on in my life that I dream more frequently. Well let me rephrase that, I remember my dreams more frequently. Over the past couple months I have been faced with major decisions concerning the direction I want to proceed in my life. I've decided to choose my sanity and peace of mind over chaos and constant stress and anxiety of someone else's job. So I've decided to leave my current employment and pursue my own business full time. This is a bold move on my part but I'm stepping out on faith and trusting that God will not let me fall.

Over the past two nights I've had very significant dreams concerning my decision. In the first dream I was in a fashion show and had also catered the after reception. Everyone was raving about my food and how I should open a restaurant. Then I ended up in a pool area where a man offered to let me work in his car dealership. As I interviewed him about the job the water in the pool started to splash over the pool deck and turn to sheets of ice. I immediately went for the exit having to skate along the ice until I reached the door.

Now I can interpret that dream in several ways. I looked up what it means to dream of ice and it said that I may be standing on shaky ground or rushing into a decision. However it also said if I was skating on the ice I would have good look in my future and overcome issues easily. Needless to say I was a little unnerved by this but prayed and continued on with my day. Let me know what you all think.

My second dream last night consisted of me walking into a conference where a lady stopped me and introduced herself as the new Chairman of the Board of the organization I just resigned from. She asked if we could set a time to talk and I said ok. I then moved on to get in line with my son to watch a movie. I registered and then stood in line. The crowd was so congested and I couldn't make my way into the theater. My roommate from college came and took my son to do something and then I moved my way through the crowd, found an open door to a theater where I had my choice of seats. I was amazed that the crowd outside hadn't found this theater earlier. I took my seat, my friend bought my son back to me and we sat and watched the movie. I looked up the meaning of crowds and it read: to dream you that you are in or part of a crowd, signifies that you need to make some space for yourself..you need solitude to reflect on a situation at hand and recharge your energy...to see an unruly crowd in your dream, signifies that the worries and problems around you are pressing in on you...you will be greatly distressed...to see a happy, orderly crowd in your dream, denotes assured happiness, pleasant friends and opportunities for advancement.

I woke up reassured that I have made the correct decision. I encourage each of you to take life by the horns and create your own destiny. Life is short and we only get one time so i'm told so make it count. Looking forward to hearing your comments on my dreams.

This Is It

2009-10-29T12:11:00.005-04:00

Last night I went to see Michael Jackson's This Is It! This is a must see for every Michael Jackson fan and anyone ever remotely interested in his music. Going into the theater I felt quite sad, the same way I felt entering the doors of the Staples Center for MJ's Memorial Service. I cried before I even sat in my seat. All I could think about is how this was the last "new" body of work I'd ever see from Michael Jackson and all that would be left is snippets of past performances, repeats of specials/news casts and fond memories. This thought alone made me quite sad and I started to cry as I played This Is It on my ipod in the theater. I treated the movie goers to a mini Michael Jackson concert prior to the movie equipped by loudly sang vocals from my son Len. It was greatly appreciated.

When the movie started I felt my body fill with butterflies generated from anxiety and excitement at the same time. The tears flowed as I listened to the dancers and crew talk about how happy they were to be at that place and time in their lives; to actually work and be in the presence of The King of Pop. I totally understood and wished I could have gotten that close to him in some form or fashion. The one time I was in his presence "he" wasn't there, just in spirit. I guess to some, this may sound like Idol Worship, but to a die hard fan and a lover of music... its an amazing accomplishment as he is a special gift from God to all of us. It was a bucket list item for me that I guess I can scratch off. As the movie progressed I got into the music and the showmanship of Michael Jackson. I was mesmerized and in total awe of him. No way this man is 50 approaching 51 and moving like this!! My son was singing all the songs at the top of his lungs along with Michael. He could not have sang any louder if I asked him to. I didn't realize he knew so many MJ songs but then again if that's all you hear you have no choice. Guess I did a pretty good job exposing him!

From just watching this film I wanted to jump out my seat and run around the theater. I felt as though I could just jump through the screen and be there. I can only imagine what my reaction would have been in London...yes I was going. My finance is friends with Travis Payne the choreographer and had secretly arranged tickets and backstage passes for the both of us as a major surprise to me. WOW! I think I would have clawed him to death during the show! He probably would have left me there! LOL! We both can't believe that we didn't think to call Travis when we were in LA to ask to witness a rehearsal as they were in full swing when we were there for my sister's graduation. That thought is heartbreaking for the both of us.

As MJ performed Billie Jean, my all time favorite song, the tears streamed down my face; not from sadness but from excitement and electricity pulsing through my body. I sang and cried all at the same time. MJ was right...Love lasts forever. I'll never forget, I'll never let go, I'll always celebrate his life and memory. In words of MJ...I'll let it Simmer!! Long live his music and memory. If you haven't seen This Is It...please go and experience what millions already have...the magic of Michael Jackson!

Michael Jackson: Love Lasts Forever

Are Teachers Allowed to Show Biases Towards Students?

2009-08-17T15:45:00.005-04:00

Today was the first day of school and my son came home all smiles but declaring he did not like his teacher. I was not surprised to hear this because at the open house he hoped and prayed he didn't have her as a teacher, much to his dismay, he did. I was pleasantly surprised because I felt she was a woman who could keep him in line and plus since my child is somewhat sexist, it was a good fit. Anyhoo, back to the first day, he explained to me that his teacher from last year came into the assembly and hugged all her former students. Noticeably she bypassed him with not even a hello, to get to students in line behind him. Obviously it was deliberate enough for him to make mention of the snub and get upset about it. My response was, "Well you know Mrs. Heirs doesn't like you." My question to all you wonderful teachers out there...Is it ever okay to outwardly display dislike or hatred for one of your students?

Last school year, my son and Mrs. Heirs had quite a few run ins, some were most definitely his fault but others, were not. Mrs. Heirs impressed me as the type of teacher who didn't really want to be there or wasn't enthusiastic about teaching when we met at Open House last year. Against my better judgement, I left him in her class. Now, my child is not a saint and he quickly built a reputation in her class. However, some instances, he was not even present for and was blamed. He got into several fights where he was jumped in the bathroom by multiple boys and that wasn't addressed only observed he was involved. It got to the point where I felt he was just being blamed for stuff because it was convenient. I had several parent/teacher conferences to which I always requested the Principal's presence. Needless to say he hasn't made one yet.

Now as I said earlier, my child is not a saint by any means. He has attitude problems and anger management issues, however he is also a Gemini and has a surprisingly sweet side. Unfortunately for him and Mrs. Heirs, they only saw the bad sides of each other. I hated having to talk to this lady and hear her annoying, "Ms. Kelllllllllllllyyyyyyy, its Mrs.. Heiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssss! Ugh. I was so glad the school year ended and so happy he was able to start 4th grade with a clean slate.

As a parent, I feel that if you are teacher you should be able to put personal feelings aside and teach all the children in your class. You don't treat children like adults and display obvious dislike towards them. I don't care how they act. Send their hind parts home and try it again the next day. When the sight of a child affects your whole mood, that's a problem and you don't need to be teaching. I'm not asking teachers to enter the realm of the Convents and flirt with Sainthood themselves, but I don't expect them to deliberately spew and yell harsh words at students either. At this year's open house Ms. Heirs introduced herself with no facial expressions, no variance in her voice, no personality whatsoever, but explained she was "so excited" about the school year coming up. Whatever Chick! I'm really interested in hearing some feedback from all of you teachers out there. Let me know if my expectations are too high of the person I entrust my child to 8hrs a day or what.

Professional vs I'm the Ish..

2009-08-10T16:48:00.002-04:00

As a professional in the Entertainment and Fashion Industries, I’ve seen a lot of things in my day both professional and very unprofessional. However, I’ve never seen an incident like the one I was so unfortunately privileged to witness yesterday. Let me preface this incident by saying this: I’ve seen actors break down and run off stage, props torn apart with no regard to the artist, models show up to a photo shoot in less than fashionable clothes and no other outfits to change into and several other oddities. So needless to say I’m used to “so-called” professional people experiencing bouts with temporary insanity. With that said, I was completely taken aback with yesterday.

My partner and I have decided to open a Modeling Agency. She is a make up artist and I’m a photographer so we make a pretty awesome team. We have met an abundant amount of “beautiful” young ladies, all aspiring to join the ranks of Tyra, Naomi and Heidi. For the most part these ladies have been very professional and respectful of my partner and me. We were fortunate enough to be able to say our experiences have been pretty pleasant up until this debacle. Yesterday we met with a model for the first time to conduct a few “test shots”. She brought a great array of interchangeable outfits, shoes, and jewelry to the shoot. She had an outgoing personality and a good luck. She asked questions and was cooperative. The first half of the shoot was absolutely perfect. I got some edgy and high fashion shots as well as some great beauty shots. Then she changed into a cute black and white dress, which she quickly let me know cost $200. My partner and make up artist decided that the dress pattern was dynamic enough for her to add some drama to our model’s face with black and white paint. She created these white clouds on her eyes and outlined them with black. It was very different but edgy at the same time. Our model flipped and said, “I gotta wash this off my face”, and proceeded to get up, go in the bathroom and wash her face without even taking one test shot. Our mouths dropped open and the room fell silent. Mind you we had another model and photographer there as well. Liken this event to being at a party and someone abruptly taking the needle off the record in the middle of your favorite groove. Huh? Are you serious? You are actually washing your face right now?

Note to Aspiring Models: It is your job to do what the photographer tells you to do in the make up provided. As long as it’s tasteful, as in not lewd, you should be willing to wear whatever. You can’t tell a designer you don’t like their designs and you never tell the make up artist you don’t like the make up. Every shot you take is not going to be a “Glamour Shot”! I don’t care if you are told to put a corncob pipe on the end of your nose, your job as a model is to make every woman in the world want one. Ladies, get over yourselves, your “so-called” good looks and lace fronts and actually humble yourself to the point of being able to take and receive great photographs. Your job as a model is not to have an opinion but to provide a blank canvas for others to create. If you want creative control, actually pay to have your photos taken.

Michael Jackson

2009-08-10T16:45:00.001-04:00

As I’m sure you all have noticed, I have not blogged about the untimely passing of Michael Jackson. Most of you know my story, my reaction, my trip to the memorial etc. I wrote an article for Midland’s Live Magazine concerning this and I’m currently working on a DVD of my pictures and video from my trip. When I feel that I can truly blog about this subject with out tears I will write an account of my feelings about him, his music, his passing, my experience purchasing "This Is It" Concert tickets, etc. I just didn’t want to blog again after the fact without at least mentioning it, but for now, its back to our regularly scheduled program.

Does weight loss affect mental stability?

2009-06-09T15:54:00.006-04:00

I know, I know...you guys are thinking, "What is wrong with her?" But this is a valid subject and worthy of discussion...

Does weight loss affect mental stability or boost self esteem therefore correcting brain damage?
You ever notice when a woman who is significantly over weight looses weight she looses her damn mind? Most women who undergo drastic body transformations often leave their husbands, boyfriends, fiances, etc. ( I personally know women who have done this and one that is contemplating it) They all of a sudden believe they can do much better and most of the time they trade up. Why is that? Well let's see...

Some women feel they are less of a person or less "sexy" when they are over weight. So when they get a man they are so happy that someone is interested in them, they settle. If that man happens to be good looking, then that woman has a "trophy" and is proud of that man and lives through him. Their world in centered around that man they were able to pull. Now secretly, that woman is feeling the pain of the weight cause things at home aren't what they appear to be. That man isn't really all that attracted to her and she spends her days and nights thinking of ways to either loose weight or rekindle the long blown out fire. Consequently, that man doesn't take the time to woo her anymore or be romantic or anything. As a matter of fact, he acts a damn fool, because why? He can! "She ain't going nowhere and who want her?" So now both partners are brain damaged and look at life through tainted glasses. So what happens when that woman finally looses the damned weight she's been carrying for years? Other men start to notice her and make her feel like a real W-O-M-A-N!! Suddenly, her trophy looks like Bobby Brown on a crack day and her eyes shift elsewhere. That man, is out the door before he knows what hit him. His take on it...." How could she do this to me, I've been there, I've helped, I loved when she had all that weight. That don't count for nothing?' Nope, cause its all about how you make that woman feel. She should feel loved and adored at any size. Weight loss will just enhance that. Fellas, check yourselves!! Ladies, this scenario can easily be flipped!! Don't get cute!

These now skinny minis are often promiscuous and dress scantily because now they are anxious to show off that new body. Believe it or not, self-esteem has a lot to do with how others view you. That doesn't make sense ( self esteem is esteem of self, so you should feel what you want and F everyone else!) It makes perfect sense. You may feel one way, but when you go virtually un-noticed in a room, or you are always the one standing on the wall at the club while your girlfriends are dancing with men, that hurts. Sometimes you are noticed but only mocked because of how fat you are and repulsive to others. Better yet, you are virtually ignored and avoided by loved ones when you want intimacy. That's a real dream killer ain't it. (Brain Damage). You feel unworthy of being with anyone and start to disgust your own self. You start to co-sign with your partner and make fun of yourself with them just to cushion the blow. I would like to say we can get along in this world without others, but that just isn't true. We can spout all the lines we want, it won't change the fact that yes we all get lonely sometimes even when we are with "so-called" loved ones. ( sing Jill.....Cause I'm lonely whenever you're around..")

Attacking the "fat" people around us is a societal mishap that is all too prevalent nowadays. How about put yourself in that person's shoes and see how you feel. Imagine not being able to buckle a seat belt on an airplane and having to ask for an extension or better yet, imagine being thrown off a plane or having to purchase two seats! ( you all saw "Why Did I Get Married?" )Think about how you would feel if you waited in line for hours to ride your favorite roller coaster and was told you were too fat to ride when it came time to get on. How would you feel then? Its easy to say, "Loose weight, exercise, stop eating!" Yeah, easy to say but damn hard to do. So how do we fix this? How about encourage the "fat" people around you to get healthy and loose weight. Tell them you love them and want them to be around for a long time. Hell, work out with them, help them set goals and congratulate them when they achieve the goals they set. This way there will be less instances of "transformed" women loosing their damn minds.

Yes weight loss does affect mental stability. It causes people to feel free, to want to do more things, to love harder! Its up to the people in these folk's lives to determine what their position will be....supportive and loved even more or critical and left alone!

Week one done!

2009-06-08T10:23:00.002-04:00

Well folks,

I promised last week that I would take you all with me on my weight loss journey. I worked hard this past week and stuck to my diet, no matter how hard it got or frustrating or tiresome, I stuck to it. I am proud to announce that in the first week I lost 11 pounds!! I'm proud of myself and looking forward to the weeks to come. I'm heading to the gym tonite to crank it up a notch, look out now. Hopefully this inspires or encourages someone!

Lesson 4: Stick to it! No matter what, don't give up!

The Meaning of Romance

2009-06-04T09:58:00.004-04:00

Romance in my opinion is on the rise. At least the hope for romance, the anticipation of it. So exactly what is it? Well Romance is what you make it, it's whatever makes your partner smile and feel loved and special. So lovers, here are some examples of romance to spice up your love lives.

On a Budget:

1. Send your loved one a greeting card and write how you feel on the inside.

2. Take your loved one on a picnic in the park.

3. Read your loved one poetry or mail a piece of poetry to him/her

4. Share an ice cream cone or waffle bowl ( courtesy of Marble Slab Creamery)

5. Rub your partner's feet or give them a pedicure.

6. Run your loved one a bubble bath equipped with rose pedals and candlelight.

Sit by the tub and feed them grapes or strawberries.

7. When helping them pack for a trip, hide a card or letter in their bag so they will find it while they are away.

8. Make a cd of songs expressing how you feel.

9. Make your loved one breakfast in bed: french toast with strawberries or a nice omelet with a glass of orange juice. ( feed it to them)

10. Take a late night walk ( in a safe neighborhood) under the stars and talk.

11. Make Coupons that your loved one can redeem with you good for whatever you or they like or need.

12. Make time to be with them or talk to them on the phone for extended periods.

13. Give a daily "I Love You, I applaud you and I'm happy you're in my life."

14. Give your partner a sensual massage.

15. Make a pallet on the floor in front of a fireplace.

Not concerned about the dough? Try These:

1. Take her to a very nice restaurant that's lit by candlelight.

2. Wisk her away to a nice tropical place and dine her oceanside, while there take a late night walk on the beach.

3. Buy your loved one a nice outfit and take them dancing.

4. Take your loved one to a museum or gallery opening or take in a show ( notice how the most dapper man in the country wined and dined his wife, take lessons)

5. Purchase your loved one a new wardrobe or a few key pieces.

6. Treat your loved one to a spa weekend.

7. Take an exotic vacation.

8. Fly away for dinner at an exclusive restaurant.

9. Go sailing and kiss under the moonlight.

10. Make love under a waterfall.

11. Send her favorite flowers every week to her job or send your man a special gift to his job each week.

12. Take a late night drive in a convertible on a summer night.

13. Go camping and roast marshmellows together.

Hopefully these help some of you romance challenged people and yes I have personally experienced most of these. Feel free to add to the list if you like.

Top Ten Things To Do This Summer

2009-06-03T09:48:00.004-04:00

This summer I challenge you all to enjoy yourselves to the fullest! Life is great, even though you may be going through; find the great things in life and enjoy them. Here are some suggestions:

Top Ten Things you should do this summer

1. Run you toes through sand at the beach

- Take time to feel the sand under your feet and enjoy the squishy feeling.

2. Stand outside in the rain and enjoy the feeling of getting wet

- Do this only if you have acceptable, or weather proof hair! If you don't, get some.

3. Go play a game of Laser Tag or race Go-Karts

- Sometimes we need to feel like a kid again and have some fun for a change.

4. Tell that secret crush how you feel!

- Secretly liking someone will never manifest a real relationship.

Be bold and speak your mind, if he/she doesn't bite at least you'll know.

5. Take yourself to a show.

- Sometimes its good to be entertained by others. Find a play, concert, poetry reading.

6. Read a good book

- stimulate your mind with a good book, be it self-help, a novel or non-fiction.

7. Do something you've never done before

- time to explore new things and get our of your comfort zone. Try it, who knows

Hating on a Whole New Level

2009-06-02T10:28:00.004-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen,

When did we enter an era when we should be ashamed of the things we have worked hard for? Excuse me If I offend anyone with what I'm about to say, but since when do poor people resort to vandalising the rich or upper middle class? You can't blame someone else for your mistakes!!

I'm not saying people can't be upset about losing their jobs or having their homes foreclosed on, but its not right to go bash the windows out of your neighbors home because they are still residents in good standing. This is America, where all things are possible. If you don't believe that leave and see how fast you bring yo ass back here. People flood this country everyday for a better opportunity and yes we are in a recession, but our recession is a whole helluva lot better than some countries' economic boom. That's real.

So because we are in a recession, our President can't date his wife? Everyone assumes taxpayers paid for his trip to Broadway with his lovely wife. Uh, doesn't this man work ( and damn hard I might add) for his paycheck and didn't he write a couple books prior to the White House that gained him several million dollars? People, you are acting like he can only afford to take Michelle to Cheesecake Factory or something. You criticize him for putting mustard on his hamburger ( he thinks he's better than us!). Please, my dad puts mustard on his hamburgers and he works everyday for his money. I mean if there was ever a member of the "working class" its my dad, so really.

Its gotten so bad that people throw things at other's luxury automobiles, bash out home windows and frown upon opulence. Ummm, this is a problem. The message being sent is that misery loves company and everyone should turn over their monies and live poor like the rest of America. So untrue! Okay, let's break this down: 97% of Americans will be classified middle class and lower. That leaves 3% in the upper class, the mongo rich, so to speak. Now, how did that 3% get there? Hard work, intellect, hard work, positive thinking, drive, and did I mention hard work? Now, there are some who inherited millions, but even those funds were gained on the back of likely some immigrant who came to this country through Staten Island and again "worked hard" and took advantage of all the things this country has to offer. These people but their pants on one leg at a time as do we all, so there is no difference. We can do it also, the question is do we want to. We have the ability to live our lives by design, we just have to use it. As Chris Gardner ( Pursuit of Happyness, Author) said this morning, " The Calvary ain't coming and your life ain't gonna fall out the sky." You have to go get it. "Pursuit of Happiness"...the pursuit part means you have to do something! Make a move, get a plan, set a goal and execute. Dreams are nice but they don't come true by themselves.

So now the dreamers of the country are bashing the achievers of this country because they haven't achieved. Its not bad taste to drive a Mercedes this day in time. Dammit, If I worked my ass off for it, I want it and will drive it. What's wrong with you people? Now, I'm not saying don't be charitable. Give back, help your church, get involved in missions, help someone in need. That's what God expects us to do. The Bible says the poor will always be among us, so there is always work to be done. Be a Blessing to others so you can be Blessed! That's the key! Pay it forward!! When you help others you are Blessed beyond measure. Did you know Mother Teresa is worth more money than Donald Trump? Her foundation is rolling in millions upon millions of dollars, but we don't think about that because we see her dressing meagerly and always helping others. She's not flashy. I don't necessarily agree with having to look and act poor when you are not, but I believe in living within my means and getting the things in this life I want. We only live once, why are we spending our one time around the track miserable and not going after all we can get. If you aren't working towards something we are wasting your time here. Trust me, there ain't no do overs!

Lesson 2: Stop hating others for having what you don't. Get off your butt and get it for yourself. Tyler Perry, Chris Gardner, Jim Carrey, to name a few, were all homeless when they made a decision to no longer live that way. All it takes is a decision. If you don't like something change it. And yes, I'm taking my own advice!

A Change Gone Come

2009-06-01T09:41:00.003-04:00

Well folks, I"m blogging because I'm embarking on a new part of my life. I've been quite unhappy for a while about my weight and now I'm doing something about it. I got myself all motivated and ready to go or as the ol campaign addage would have it: Fired up and Ready to Go!! Rev. Run told me in his daily words of wisdom a few weeks ago," If you are striving for a better, more fulfilling life, a little change in your approach can make a Huge difference!! (consider this) If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten, Change something". I watched "Why Did I Get Married " 3 times this weekend and like Sheila (Jill Scott's Character) I was down on myself and my weight. So I've decided to change it. I'm getting married next year and want to be a knock out walking down that aisle. It aint gonna happen with me just dreaming about it.

I have to admit, I've been quite nervous about this diet. Not that I don't want to loose, but because I'm afraid I won't. See, until recently, nothing ever went right in my life, negative thing after negative thing, so my mind is so conditioned to always receiving negative results. I'm so used to losing. I realize I have to change my thinking and therefore change my way of life. It took a good friend to remind me of that this morning. I finally admitted to him that I was nervous because I so desperately want this to work and I have anxiety about it not working. However, he set me straight and told me to just do the damn diet as prescribed and it will work. So, I turned it over to God, ( he knows my heart's desire) and I'm going full steam ahead.

I weighed this morning and I weighed 275 lbs. Ive never revealed my weight before to anyone, but weight watchers. Me revealing makes it more real and shows i'm serious. Im now accountable to everyone to show just how this can be done and will be done by me. I hope I'm motivating someone else as well. Follow me on this journey won't you? Here we go...This is my before shot!

Lesson 1: God has already given us the tools to make the most of this life and live a life of design. If you don't like something change it, dreams don't manifest themselves without action. Identify what you want and get moving!

Color Me Badd!!

2009-02-10T15:48:00.003-05:00

Wow, So much has happened since I last blogged. We have a new President named Barack Obama, I went to the Inauguration, I turned 35...alot has transpired which brings me to this blog.

Last week Monday I turned 35! With that new year I resolved to make this year all about me and what I wanted. Turning 35 reassured me that I was going in the right direction. After Christmas, I prayed and prayed and prayed some more for some direction in my life. I got confirmation from my pastor on New Year's Eve that 2009 is mine and that the year should be all about me. Seriously, he said, Love yourself, let your past go, forgive yourself and embrace your future. These words really hit home with me. He was right, I spent so much time dealing with eveyone else's needs, that I totally neglected my own. I was the last person on my list of people to take care of...I wasn't even a close second, but dead last. So after much prayer and revelation, I agreed and decided to make 2009 about me and me! I prayed about my finances, my relationship, my son, etc. I decided to take a back seat and Let God have his way. He truly knows the desires of my heart and is ushering me to and through these things.

We have the power to speak life and positive things into it and that's what I have been doing and trying to do. Pray with me as I embark on this year's journey of self discovery!!

Jena 6, One Year Later

2008-09-19T15:24:00.003-04:00

Today I as I reflect on the one year anniversary of the Jena 6 March(tomorrow) I can't help but wonder just how better off we actually are. We all (meaning black America) united for that time and rallied around these six young men, Mychal Bell in particular, and swelled our chests with pride. Proud of the fact that we could put aside our differences, proud that we would all burn up vacation days from work to aid someone other than ourselves, proud that we had the ingenuity to mastermind and participate in a march of that magnitude just like the days of King and proud that for a change we were involved in something positive period. Those of us who could not travel for whatever reason organized and held Jena 6 Rallies in our cities. ( Chris, I know, I know...you never got your Jena 6 T-shirt. I'm gonna purchase one just for you.)

This time last year we were all entrenched in black pride, unity and responsibility for our youth and their actions. So, what changed? It seems as though that day black America pushed pause to halt the Bullshit in their lives and pressed play on Socialism. Today, the bullshit meter is running rampit in our communities once again. We have a black man running for the highest office in the free world and we have 80million black folks not registered to vote! And another thing...since everyone is all enthralled in this election, how many Jena 6's have we missed. How many young children are fighting injustice right under our noses while we concentrate on why John McCain picked Sarah Palin and how much money celebrities raised for Barack Obama? Then we have the audacity to not even be registered so we can exercise our right to vote so that these injustices can end? The gall to not take advantage of the right our forefathers fought, bled and died for. But I digress.

Just today, my son came home from school telling me about a fight he had on the playground at recess. Yes he got his ass beat, but that is besides the point. Why are our children fighting each other instead of helping and looking out for one another even at this age. Train up a child in the way he/she should go and he will never depart from it. The children are our future for real. Its not just a Whitney Houston lyric. Who do you think will be taking care of you when you are old? Our children! We owe them the opportunity to grow up and grow up correctly and in the fear of God. They need to know the importance of helping others and standing for what they believe in. We should teach them the importance of a good education and to never forget where they came from, to not have the crabs in a bucket mentality and to strive to be the best in all they do. So many of our children fall through the cracks and are lost. Well, I refuse to let mine fall through even if I have to beat his ass to do it. My child will not be a statistic, he will not be referred to by a number and he will not have premature dates marking his headstone, if I can help it.

I feel like Atlas with the weight of the world on my shoulders and a phoenix as I rise from the flames of this socially inept hell. I will survive, my child will survive, my family will survive, my friends will survive. I will not fail!! I won't, I won't, I won't and neither will you! The power of the tongue is a wonderful thing isn't it?

Paradise Lost

2008-09-11T09:49:00.004-04:00

I blog today with a heavy heart and a saddened spirit. Today is the 7th Anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy. I'm sad today because I'm remembering that day and the lives that have been eternally altered and because I'm thinking about the thousands of Americans who are still fighting this so-called "War on Terror"and those who have lost their lives. Today is the official commemoration of this tragedy, but for many men and women, "9/11" happens everyday as the officials knock on their doors and deliver the news that their son or daughter has lost their life in the war, sparked by 9/11. 9/11, 5/22, 3/19. etc. These are days families remember everyday as their lives have been altered as well.

When I got up this morning I turned on the television to Fox news and watched their replay of the 9/11 events as they happened that day. I began to weep and soon my weeping developed into a full out cry as I got ready for work. I was overwhelmed with emotion as I thought about each person who died that day without warning. I cried for the families and friends left behind. I started to reflect on what my life was like on that day...

The morning of September 11, 2001 I got up early and drove back to Columbia. I'm from Inman, a little town in Spartanburg County, and I had spent the night their with my cousin from LA. My mom and I had experienced a terrible argument and I didn't go home but spent the night with my aunt instead where my cousin was staying. I woke up early and drove back because I had to be at work at Cingular Wireless Call Center at 10am. So, I left around 6 or so. When I got home, around 8am I watched two episodes of the Sopranos that my VCR had tapped while I was away. I got ready for work, and drove to the call center. There my co-workers were all in an uproar. I asked what was going on and one said we are trying to deal with all these explosions and things. I said, "What explosions?". She proceeded to detail for me the events of the past hour and 1/2. I ran to the break room and watched the news and there it was. "Oh My God, You have got to be kidding me?" I got on my computer and the Internet was flooded with images and stories. How did I miss this? I normally watch CNN as I get dressed in the mornings, why didn't I this morning?

As I think about that day, I am reminded of a time in my life when I wasn't close to my mom. Our relationship was so strained, I questioned if she even loved me at all. Look at how far we have come and how good God is. We are best friends now and talk everyday and constantly tell each other we love one another. God is awesome. Like 9/11, it took a tragedy to bring us together. We rebuilt our lives together though and that made us stronger in and for each other. God has a way of bringing people together with the strength they need to endure tough things. Let us thank God for his infinite wisdom.

Today, I urge each American to unite with the other, encourage someone else today and let them know you are there for them. Don't let another tragedy have to happen to unify is again.

Shame on you McCain!

2008-09-03T17:11:00.003-04:00

Okay, I tried so hard to not jump on the bandwagon and blog about this but I couldn't. I have to. What was John McCain thinking by picking Gov. Sarah Palin? I'll tell you what! He thought all the women of America were stupid and could not possibly be interested in the issues and what's best for the country, but that we would vote for him and Sarah because she is a woman! As a woman I am insulted.

The idea behind being able to handpick a VP is to really search and find a person fully capable of being president if something (God forbid) should happen to the current president. I'm sorry, Sarah Palin is not it. This lady has been Gov. of Alaska for less than two years. OK, I give her kudos for becoming Governor because I sit here blogging and not running for political office (yet). So applause to her for this accomplishment. However, this lady has no foreign policy experience have just gone out of the country last year for the first time ( she didn't even have a passport for the ready.) She does not believe in sex education in schools, as a result her state has the highest cases of Chlamydia and her teenage daughter is pregnant. I'm sorry Gov. ignoring sex education does not mean the people of the country will not choose to engage in it. She is also against a woman's right to choose. So the right women fought for, the ability to take charge of their own bodies, is lost with this woman. But you republicans say Gov. should not play such a huge role in the everyday lives of Americans. Hmmm!

Sen. John McCain wrapped up his party's nomination presumably back in March. So why did he wait so long to choose a VP? He could have used all this time to campaign with his VP pick and try to one up the Democrats. He waited to see who Barack Obama would choose because he was not confident in himself enough to carry the ticket. He waited to see if Obama would choose Hillary Clinton, and when he didn't, he chose Gov. Palin to gain those votes, again suggesting we women don't use our brains to think. We fought for our right to vote to be able to choose based on what's best for us. McCain doesn't even know this woman and as a result, they keep showing her family and talking about her High School Career and hobbies. He met her one time back in February and then talked with her one more time last Tuesday and picked her on last Friday. His own party can't even defend her. McCain refused to conduct an interview with CNN because his party rep "Tucker" could not answer a question about her experience and what decisions has she made as Commander in Chief of the Alaskan National Guard. Not only did he not answer the question, he tried to belittle Obama's experience or so-called lack there of instead.

Well, I'll say this, for someone who is not experienced, Obama sure had enough sense to pick a VP who is very experienced in Foreign Affairs and is Chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee in Congress. Shame on You Sen. McCain for thinking that the women of the world are stupid. I;'m sorry Senator, but your slickness, your so-called strategy, has backfired. Boom!

King of Pop Turns 50!

2008-08-29T11:25:00.002-04:00

Today the King of Pop, Michael Joseph Jackson, born to Joseph and Catherine Jackson turns 50. I am such a huge fan of Michael Jackson and could not let this historic day go by without acknowledging it. As a young girl, at the tender age of 3 I fell in love with Michael Jackson. This love affair still remains today and I am a woman in my 30's. The music is timeless, genius and priceless. Even though MJ has had his share of problems, his music is off the chain. He is a musical genius. He went into orbit in the 80's and never came down. He is the greatest of all time! Michael, Happy happy happy 50th birthday. You are an american icon!!

Calling all Clinton Supporters to Board the Train!

2008-08-27T09:42:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow will be a historic day. We've already made history with Barack Obama winning the Democratic Nomination for President of the United States. Tomorrow he will accept the party's nomination on the 45th Anniversary of Martin Luther King's historic "I Have a Dream Speech." We have come so far in this country where a black man has a real chance to actually become President. However, I'm not saying we don't have a long way to go because we do. Unity has still not been achieved. Its not a black and white issue, or male or female issue...its a humanity issue. We all have to get along and feel for our fellow man no matter what. The New Yorker's dealing with 9/11 put grievances aside and helped each other get out and survive no matter the color or gender. I say this to try and get through to Hillary Clinton Supporters.

Last night at the Democratic National Convention, Hillary Clinton gave a dynamic speech about uniting the party and being concerned for the state of America and its citizens. After all, we should be concerned about this right? However, after the speech they spoke with a young African American woman who is a die hard Hillary Clinton Supporter. She said that Hillary's speech was very Presidential and that she should be the nominee. That she would not vote for John McCain, but that Barack Obama had to earn her vote and that he had two months to do it or she may not vote at all.

Well Ms. Missy, not voting is the same as casting a vote for John McCain because you are not taking a stand against him and exercising your right to vote. We have to remember to not get so caught up in the person themselves, but the message and the hope for a better tomorrow. You have to discern which candidate will best do that of the two you have to choose from. You can't get all upset cause your person didn't get in and therefore abandon the mission. Then this woman and many other delegates like her have the nerve to say they will cast votes for Hillary to be the nominee even though she won't win. What kind of message are you sending to the Repulicans? You are saying the party can't get past this and join together behind one person for a common goal cause your ass is on your shoulder. How can Barack win when we can't agree and work hard for the cause. If Hillary can do it, so can you. Trust me, she will alright and will have a great role in this adminstration.

Let's face the facts people, Hillary Clinton lost. She lost. She lost! Did the mission for change die with her presidential bid? No. It didn't. It lives on in Barack Obama and the Democratic party. Don't get so caught up in the Clinton's that you can't see 2 steps past one of Hillary's Pantsuits. To me, that is so backwards. Yes, she made a statement for women. As a woman, I applaud that. However, Change is the message and you have to be willing to change to have change. Had Hillary Clinton won the nomination, I would be working for her campaign and voting for her no questions asked, even though I wholeheartedly support Barack Obama. Wake up people! If you don't we are going to receive 4 more years of repression chalked full of Republican, right-winged idealism! Can we survive that? I think not.

State of Emergency in Black America

2008-08-22T12:39:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I picked my son up from his Boys and Girls Club After school program and as we walked out to the car, one of my son's friends asked him If I was his mom. He replied yes, to which the child then asked, "You got a dad?" My son said yes, yes I do. This second question bothered me. Since when did we get so far gone and our families so disconnected that a child would have to ask another child if they have a dad? Have our men gone so haywire that they are not in touch with their families? Even if the parents are not together, the child should not have to ask whether or not they have a dad.

Now with these tragic incidences happening Ol Jessie has the nerve to say Barack Obama is talking down to black people because he is addressing this issue. Is he serious? Bill Cosby has been saying the same thing and our people have taken offense to him. Why? He is telling the truth. When you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, the one that hollers is the one you hit. The black male in America has failed himself and his family. Granted, racism is prevalent and alive in this country, but that should give us motivation to want more, to do more, not to be just what they expect us to be; nothing. Killing each other, selling drugs to one another...is this the way to get ahead? I think not. When are our men gonna step up again and accept some real responsibility. A real man takes care of his children. Maybe the problem is with us, black women. If we wouldn't lay down with little, trifling A boys, we wouldn't have to worry about these boys all of a sudden having to transition to men. We should create families with men already and know how he is going to react to responsibility. When we have sex with a man we must be prepared to share the parenting responsibility with him, even if we do not forsee we will. You never know what will happen. When it does, are you gonna be happy with this sorry A nicca who is now your baby daddy? Can we please, please, please take back our families?

God please step in now in the name of your son Jesus. Teach us the way we should go, and how to go. Give us the tools to be better people and treat those around us, including our children, with the utmost respect and kindness. Lord, somethings we may not understand but everything is a blessing from you, whether good or bad. You desire for us to be kings and queens and reign over our own. We cannot do this without you Lord, we need your guidance and strength to make it through each day. We know it won't be easy, but you are there to usher us through. All we have to do is trust you and be open to change. Give us the desire and the burning sense of urgency to correct ourselves and do right by our families. The babies deserve so much more than we are giving them. Please help us now in Jesus' name. Amen.

Twilight Thoughts

2008-08-22T09:51:00.003-04:00

Are our dreams prophetic visions from God or wishes our heart makes? I have this conversation often with friends of mine and we always try to interpret our dreams as they relate to our daily lives. However, the mystery is always the source of these dreams. Sometimes my dreams are so relevant its scary and other times I can't make head or tales of it. Is there a mystery to unlock?

As a child growing up watching Cinderella, I always believed that dreams were wishes my heart made and nothing more. It wasn't until I started listening to my mother talk about her dreams and how they always came true that I started to think differently. She believed God was talking to her through her dreams and warning her of ahead dangers just as he did in the Bible days. So which is it? Or is it a combination of both? If it is a combination, how do we know the difference?

Many people have written books on dream interpretation and believe that all dreams have meaning. Some people even assign lucky numbers to certain dreams. I still don't know how that is done. However, I also believe they have meaning but are they messages from God or manifestations of what we desire? Dreams have always been a mystery. Some scientists say you never dream in color but in black and white and that the body has several dreams during the course of the night but we don't remember them. However, I dream in color and I oftentimes remember my dreams, especially the significant ones.

Dreams can happen in one of two stages. 1) Dreams that predict the future. These dreams don't make sense to us most of the time, however as times goes by they reveal their significance. 2) Dreams parallel our lives at the time. Some of our dreams replay our lives and give us the ability to step back and view our actions. This could be God's way of having us step out of ourselves to see how we truly behave and what we should change.

Upon further pondering of this, I believe dreams are corrections from God in one way or another to make us better people. So many people say God speaks to us about what he wants us to know or do or say or not say. Dreams are a way of speaking to us because he does not speak audibly from Heaven, at least I have not heard this and I'm sure I would have. ( I just imagine God having a loud, booming voice). So in a sense dreams are both wishes and predictions because our desires and wishes come from God because HE controls all things. Yes he gives us free will but nothing happens without his permission, so all we do and all our steps are ordered by God. Kinda neat right?

So the next dream you have and remember, examine it, pray and try to discern just what message God is trying to give you. However, remember that Satan has the same access to our dreams and can send us smoke screens to alter our actions and convince us to take steps off of God's path. The important thing is to stay connected to God to prevent this and to be able to tell the difference. With that, dream away and let God lead you. Amen.

Sometimes Silence is Best.

2008-08-21T15:34:00.003-04:00

The saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is a misstatement and an untruth. Words are powerful and everlasting. Powerful because they have the ability to excite someone or crush their dreams and everlasting because they get continuous play in the mind of the receiver. So keeping that in mind, it is imperative to be very careful of and take ownership over the words that are formed by our tongues and leave our mouths.

The tongue has the power to speak life, blessings, curses and death into the lives of others. You have the power to speak into existence the thoughts and feelings of your mind and affect the lives of those around you. With Power comes great responsibility. Our tongues are powerful and therefore garner great responsibility. The ol adage "Think before you speak." came into existence because once you say something you cannot take it back no matter how "sorry" you are you said it. Hearers of our words take them at face value and believe what they are hearing unless you are an established liar in which case you couldn't get people to believe you even if your tongue came notarized.

"Choose your words carefully" is another one. The words "I love you" are powerful in themselves. The way in which these words are perceived is significant. Most people just say "I love You" meaning they love you as friends, a great influence in their lives etc. However, between a couple the words "I love you" mean just that. You love me and want to be with me; we are committed to each other. Not I love you like a family member. Sometimes I think people say these words without realizing the impact they have on a person. They say these words with no regard to their meaning or impact. Some folks can just say it with no consequence because they could care less, but to the person hearing those words, it could mean their livelihood.

I had a guy tell me he loved me one time and I in turn told him back. When we spoke, which was several times a day, we continuously told each other we loved the other. We made what I thought was love and he just basically had sex. I felt one way and he another. Afterwards he explained to me that his " I love you's" were merely expressions of his friendship and caring for me, but in no way meant that he was actually "In love" with me. How devastating to hear. My heart broke and my spirit sank at the reality of me letting this man into my inner most being and him saying afterwards,"I didn't love you that way." Are you freaking kidding me? You didn't allow me the opportunity to make an informed decision about this intimate expression of "love".

The world does not revolve around us and we are not in this world alone, therefore our words will be heard by someone, if only God and he has a tendency to act on our words oftentimes giving us what we say we want. Another saying, "Be careful what you wish for, it just might come true," comes to mind. I could go on and on but I won't. I leave you with this, Don't say things you don't truly mean and mean what you say. It could mean life or death to someone else.

Who Said This Was Acceptable?

2008-08-14T16:55:00.003-04:00

Okay, Okay, I'm as big a fan of individualism as the next person and I feel I have a great sense of fashion, but when did it become OK for a man to sport a perm and a mustache if their name isn't James Brown? Come on.... Have we been reduced to witnessing such atrocities on a daily? I went to the hair salon and one of the male stylists was rocking this same swagger. Did I miss something?

I remember when I met a young man in Atlanta one year, this brother had on makeup, a mustache and rocked a perm. My friend and I screamed with laughter. However, we got to know this person and realized he wasn't crazy just eccentric. His sense of style was wack but he was cool. I should have realized then that it was only the beginning of such fashion mayhem.

Is this the new look of gay America? I may be wrong for asking this question but I can't see a straight man rocking this style if he ain't on stage. Hell, even JB kept it masculine! Terrence Howard in Hustle and Flow kept it rugged! I'm afraid this freakish nature is becoming so popular that it isn't being seen as freakish at all, but normal.

Who knows maybe I'm behind the times. I'm gonna call and ask my man to sport this swagger and see what his reaction is. Chime in and tell me what you all think of this. Am I close minded or does this actually look good?

Unusual Pedicure

2008-07-21T16:57:00.007-04:00

Today as I searched the news for my daily dose of world events, I came across a story about a most unusual pedicure. Now, since I have have taken several cosmetologist classes I have learned about the proper way to conduct a pedicure. For those of you foot conscious folks out there who love pedicures...there are some facts you should be aware of.

There is a such thing as Death by Pedicure. This is caused by a disease called Microbacterium fortitium. This disease lurks in spa baths in nail salons and seriously endangers your health. California has seen over 600 cases of this disease in their nail salons and spas. 2 people in SC have been affected.

If a spa tub has not been cleaned properly with EPA Hospital Grade Barocide all feet that swim there are at risk. By cleaned properly, I mean allowing the Barocide to sit in the tub full of clean water for at least 10 minutes between customers. This helps kill germs that came off the foot of the person before you. Just a thought: How many times have you seen the spa baths in soak before you put your foot in it? What happens when this is not done is the dead skin, cuticles and nails accumulate in the drain holes of the tub and cause a deadly bacteria. You put your foot in and are susceptible to the bacteria. This can cause fungus in your nail bed or worse. Please don't ever shave before you go because then your pores are standing open ready to receive all the germs of the umpteen feet before you. Herpes is most spread not sexually but in the salon. How many times has your nail tech cut you? If they don't clean that tool they pass the germs on to the next person and so on. So, just watch where you go, make sure you get clean instruments ( watch them take it out of the blue water) and make sure they properly clean your spa bath before you engage. Now onto this new pedicure,

As I was saying before I ascended my soap box, I read about a new pedicure where a salon in VA was using fish to eat away dead skin. The fish are nicknamed Dr. Fish and they feed on dead skin cells and such. Don't worry they don't have teeth, they suck. Feel better about it? Didn't think so. This salon used to house the fish in a communal pool and let up to 8 ladies at a time subject their little footsies to the nibbling fest. They discovered 2 problems with this method. 1) Those people with excessively scaly feet got all the fish, leaving others with no attention and 2) the health department didn't deem it sanitary. I agree with that. Now, they put the ladies in a personal pool full of fish and change the water after each use. I'm still not sure just how sanitary this is but it sounds much better than the community thing.

The thought of fish nippling at my feet both frightens and intrigues me. I think I would need to witness someone actually receiving this service before trying it. I know we all want to look good and all about the feet but are we going just a little far? We vain people will pay for beauty but at what cost? Have we actually come to the day where we have to stick our feet in pool of flesh eating fish to achieve the perfect pedicure? Please weigh in on this one. Would you try it?

Soror Barbie

2008-07-17T15:41:00.005-04:00

Wow. What a day I'm having. First and foremost...Congratulations to my Sorors, the Elite and most Illustrious ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. on 100 years of Sisterhood and Service to all mankind. Sorors from all over the world have descended upon Washington, DC , the birth place of Alpha Kappa Alpha, for Boule and our Centennial Celebration. I am so proud to be a member and represent these beautiful ladies. I am also proud to say that Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority has been honored by Mattel with an AKA Barbie! She is so beautiful and elegant, just like an Alpha Kappa Alpha Lady should be. However, you know I'm not blogging about this just to boast. Of course I have to address the haters!!

Now, that our Barbie has been revealed, there are several "black folk" who have taken issue with her appearance. Mostly non sorority members I'm sure, but nonetheless haters. Several blogs and comments have shown displeasure with the complexion of Soror Barbie. First of all its an honor to be able to say that. No other Sorority has been honored in this way. This is an accomplishment in itself and all Greeks should be proud of this. Anyhoo, because Soror Barbie is not "black" enough she is being criticized. So what... if the doll were chocolate she would represent better? Get out of here with that. African American women come in all hues. There is no one hue to represent us all. I don't believe the doll feeds into stereotypes about Alpha Kappa Alpha women only choosing other fair skinned women with long hair. I'm not fair skinned and I didn't have long hair when I joined. So what? My Sorors come in many different colors...long gone are the days of the ol"Paper Bag Test" that so many people keep eluding to.

Only "black" people not comfortable in their own skin and its complexion have such a problem. I'm proud this doll represents me and my Sorors, even though I'm not her complexion. She represents the Sorority as a whole as I do. For people to actually spend the time voicing their opinions over a doll that does not represent them anyway is ridiculous. Why not be happy that the features of the doll are true to African American women and not just the same white Barbie dipped in chocolate as previous dolls have been. The blacker the berry the sweeter the juice is not always true.

Skin complexion has always been the divide within our race. In the days of slavery, the light skinned slaves got to work in the house, drive the car, breast feed the babies, and cook the food for the master and mistress. The women were also privileged to be rapped, molested and sodomized at the whim of the good ol master with the husbands not able to protest. So, they may not have been in the fields but were enslaved nonetheless. The lighter skin still didn't exempt them from the word "Nigger" and the lynchings. Knowing this is the root of all this division,why not embrace the many colors instead of discriminating against one another because of it? Light skin is in, black is out...vice versa. Let that mess go.

Here's the tip: Get comfortable in your own skin, represent who you are and stop looking for others to represent for you. Be proud of who you are and carry yourself accordingly. You see Aunt Jemima is still a chocolate sista on top of that syrup bottle and pancake mixes. Are only dark skinned black folks supposed to cook pancakes or are we supposed to boycott this as well because the image represents the black women cooking in white kitchens?

Satirically Speaking

2008-07-14T13:04:00.006-04:00

In the midst of all the BS news of the weekend a story has finally made its way to the airways. I guess it first got lost or bogged down within the rumblings of how much the Jolie-Pitts would be paid for the first pics of their now 2 day old twins, Knox and Vivienne or what Ms. USA was thinking when she executed a butt plant during the Evening Gown Competition at last night's Miss. Universe Pageant. While I'd admit it was shocking and I screamed when I watched it happen live, It was not as shocking as the cover of The New Yorker depicting Sen. Barack Obama as a Muslim and his wife Michelle as a terrorist. I'd heard about this cover yesterday, but it wasn't hot news yet at least not to the media.

OK, how sick or racist do you have to be to not only draw something like this, but what does that say about the powers that be actually publishing it? People! Am I the only one who sees a problem with this? I admit, I was once a fan of The New Yorker. Their satire was humorous and I clipped several comics for my scrapbooks. However, I never thought they would stoop this low. In their defense, they stated that the cover was to expose the stupidity of the Republican party and their senseless attempts to attach Sen. Obama to such extremists. However, the American public isn't going to see it that way. The cover will do the opposite, spawn more rumors among conservatives and confirm beliefs for others. All of these "so- called" journalists and their backwards ways of telling a story are actually hurting this man's campaign not helping it. Remember that cover where Sen. Obama was in the target of sniper fire? If that wasn't a subconscious idea plant I don't know what is.

I understand free speech and freedom of press but damn. Has everyone got it out for this man? Not to compare him to Jesus, but he endured similar persecution and we all know what happened to him. Jesus helped people, healed people and professed himself the son of God. Sen. Obama is trying to help people, heal the nation of its racists wounds and strive to be the next Commander in Chief. At every turn there is someone out to stop his mission, each attempt bigger and bolder than the last. Bill Clinton said he would have to kiss his ass to gain his support and even Ol' JJ wants to cut off his "nuts" for supposedly talking down to black folks. They said the same thing about Bill Cosby remember? Since when is upliftment talking down. Since when is telling the truth and expecting change being arrogant? Why are we the most watched and scrutinized race in the country and the world? Because they are afraid of the power we really possess and we currently act less than desirable, some of us. But one bad apple spoils a bunch so we are all in this stigma and stereotype together. The moment we stop turning on each other and focus our energies towards advancing ourselves we will be an unstoppable force. Hey, the niggas are organizing...get out the sheets! Oh well, I digress. In a way, I'm glad these closet racists are showing their hind parts because they are exposing themselves for who they really are. When you know who your enemies are it makes fighting easier.

I so much want to believe that racism is a thing of the past, but it simply isn't true. Everyday we are faced with new challenges in the form of laws, legislation, policemen, lower wages for the same job etc. CNN is even airing a special "Black in America". Why is this necessary if we are all getting along? Time to wake up people before we are all slaves again...this time in Corporate America instead of the Cotton Fields.

What's Next, Fly Naked?

2008-07-11T15:20:00.004-04:00

Vacation anyone? Not so fast, better have some extra dollars at your expense if you're flying. Today's economy has totally destroyed what used to be a great way to travel from one destination to another. The safest way to travel has quickly become the most expensive as well.

Spring, 1985 I boarded a plane for the first time en route to our Nation's Capital. My aunt, little cousin and I sat anxiously aboard the Eastern Airline MD 180 plane as we look forward to rendezvousing with our other family members who started their travel via Amtrak the night before. We checked several bags, which they lost, and carried on a few items. We were serviced with beverages and peanuts during our flight. I had a great time, other than being stranded without clothes for a day at the age of eleven. I have been a fan of air travel ever since. However, the Airline Industry has changed drastically since then.

Back in the day when you flew, you were given several beverages and a full meal during your flight. Well as inflation does what it is supposed to do; inflate, the airlines cut out the "free" meals and began charging for meals. My airline of choice "Delta" offers several different deli style sandwiches and chips at nominal prices. You may however purchase your own meal from the terminal and bring it aboard. That's a good thing and a compromise to the meals for purchase option.

After 9/11 the price for flights went up for obvious reasons. Flights now employ Air Marshalls to police the airways from terrorists prompting higher flight rates to cover salaries. I don't mind this at all, but now with the rising fuel costs the airlines have taken complete leave of their senses. I understand that it costs more to operate the flights now and carrying less weight burns less fuel but recent additions have turned me off from my dreams of Soaring the wild blue yonder.

A few months ago, Airlines announced fees for checking your second bag. So forget about packing your shoes in one bag and clothes and toiletries in another or taking multiple outfits for variety. Better learn how to survive on bare minimums and get used to wearing those jeans more than once. It was bad enough they limited our liquid usage down to a few ounces forcing us to pour that much need contact lens solution and moisturizer into little plastic containers, and charging overweight people for two seats as to not inconvience others. Nnow they expect us to survive with 3 outfits and a pair of shoes by charging us $25 to check a second bag. Dang. I always take two bags and a carry on. Now I have to scale back to one bag and a carry on with a personal item ie; purse, laptop, pet etc.

Just when air travelers were getting used to the idea of either chucking up the $25 or carrying one bag, US Airways announced today that they will now charge $15 for the first checked bag! WTF. Are we expected to vacate with no luggage? And the bags have to weigh less than 40 lbs. Come on already. Just how much can you get in a carry on bag anyway? Not much and if you happen to be overweight the extra fabric to make your clothes limits you to two outfits! Just where is all this extra money supposed to come from? We are already paying the base price, the booking fee, the taxes and transaction fees, now they want us to pay to take luggage? A flight with a base price of $378 ends up being $498.00 after all the fees and two checked bags. Oops that's wrong. I forgot to add the price to check the bags on the return flight, so add another $40 to that. Am I missing the line for the free money handouts to pay these prices or did they fall and smack their heads on the runway?

Someone please tell these people that we , the American People, can't afford such as this. I guess I will have to vacation in the backyard as I blogged earlier.

Check out US Airways explanation of new fees: http://www.usairways.com/awa/Content/traveltools/baggage/baggagepolicies.aspx

Television Trivia Answers

2008-07-10T14:33:00.003-04:00

1. What would we do baby, Without Us? What would we do baby, Without Us? I bet we been together for a million years, And I bet we'll be together for a million more. Oh, It's like I started breathing on the night we kissed, And I can't remember what I ever did before. What would we do baby, Without Us? What would we do baby, Without Us? And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through. What would we do baby, Without Us? Sha la la la.

2.Lawrence Hilton Jacobs. The PJ's projects were the Hilton Jacobs Projects.

3. 10 Stigwood Ave. Brooklyn NY

4. In Da House...Debbie Allen, LL Cool J and Alfonso Robiero

5. Capriti Green Apts.

6. Goodtimes, Different Strokes, and Fame

7. Michael DeLorenzo- Det. Torres.

8. Holly Robinson Pete- Show: 21 Jump Street

9. Little Shop of Horrors

10. Rags to Riches

11. BAD

12. Jennifer Lopez

13. The Jeffersons

14. Opi Taylor and Richie Cunningham

15. Don Knotts

16. In Living Color, she was a Fly Girl

17. 4 on the pilot then gained Sandra the 5th child

18. Raven Simone

19. Boxing, what's happening now

20. Mike Tyson

21. WKRP in Cinncinati

Bonus: Alex Keaton loved Money. ALF

Finish the lines:

1. White racist word

2. that box

3. Whatcha talkin

4. pow right in the kisser

5. Gartrell

6. mama

7. Hey, Hey, Hey

8. Angry.

Well, how'd you do?

Television Trivia

2008-07-09T10:23:00.005-04:00

As a connoisseur of fine television watching I know a lot of television trivia. This is your fun element today. Many of today's famous movie actors/actress and musicians got their start on the small screen. Try to guess the answers to today's television trivia. Answers will be posted tomorrow.

1. Sing the theme song to "Family Ties"

2. What famous actor was the projects named after in the PJ's? Hint: He played Joe Jackson?

3. What was the address of the Huxtable Family?

4. This show paired a rapper, a dancer and a former Michael Jackson Impersonator.

5. What was the Apt. Complex of the Evan's Family? ( The Actual one that was shown in the show opening)? Hint: It was made famous by a bad guy covered in bee's.

6. What television shows did Janet Jackson star in?

7. One of the stars of New York Undercover was also a dancer in a Michael Jackson Video, who is he?

8. This actress married to a football star started on this show with the famous address, who is she?

9. Tisha Campbell- Martin and Tichina Arnold starred together on several projects....name the first one. Hint: a movie

10. Tisha Campbell also starred in this short lived television comedy. What is it?

11. Wesley Snipes got his start in what Michael Jackson video?

12. Who is the now famous face in the Janet Jackson, "That's the Way Love Goes" video?

13. Gary Coleman played a nephew in a guest appearance on this show? Hint: his uncle was a dry cleaner.

14. Ron Howard played which two famous characters?

15. This "Three's Company" landlord started on what show? Also, who was he?

16. Jennifer Lopez got her start on what infamous comedy show? What was she?

17. How many children did the Huxtables start with?

18. Which 400 million diva started as a Cosby Kid?

19. Martin Lawrence started his career as what? Hint: it didn't work out. He also was on another television show as a bus boy. What was it?

20. Which famous boxer did The Fresh Prince think he could beat? hint: Music

21. The famous radio station of Dr. Johnny Fever?

Bonus: Alex P. Keaton loved this________. Alien Life Form: ___________

Finish the lines:

1. Dad, Boy is a ...

2. Throw down ...

3. ... bout Willis?

4. One of these days...

5. Denise is making me a Gordon...

6. I'm gonna tell...

7. Heywood Nelson's favorite line..............

8. You won't like me when I'm ...

Gooey Ducks

2008-07-09T09:53:00.002-04:00

As I faithful blogger, I pride myself on being able to expose my readers to new and exciting discoveries in the world. So today is no exception. Seafood/ shellfish lovers, this one's for you. I've found something that should really make you think. While watching Discovery Channel I discovered Geo Ducks pronounced Gooey Ducks and it totally blew my mind. A Geo Duck is the world's largest clam located in the Pacific Northwest. These clams burrow several feet into the ground and stay there for several years before being harvested. Geoducks grow rapidly, generally reaching 1.5 pounds in three to five years. They attain their maximum size by about 15 years, and can live at least as long as 168 years. The term Gooey Duck is of Native American Origin and means "Dig Deep".

These things are fascinating to watch but churning to the stomach. When you go to a restaurant and order clams, you think you are getting the clams that come in the cute little shells that sometimes house the pearls. This may not always be the case. The best thing to do is ask where your clam comes from before you order it. But then again, the Gooey Duck may not be half bad, just big as hell. Click on this link for more information on the Geo Duck:

http://www.wdfw.wa.gov/fish/shelfish/beachreg/2clam.htm.

O'bama, You Have A Lot To Do To Achieve This Myth Called "Unity"

2008-07-08T16:53:00.004-04:00

Okay, I know I have been on the Political Soap Box for awhile now, but I have something really eating away at me. As I sit and type this blog, outfitted in my Obama for President Button, I’m quite upset. I got a text from a friend this morning saying that Mr. Stephen Baldwin made a comment that if Sen. Obama won the Presidency that he would leave the country. Now, I don’t know this statement to be true but if it is I can take it to mean one of two things…1) You would rather leave the country than have it run by a black man or 2) You would rather leave the country than have it run by a Democrat. My mind is telling me the statement means the first option.

Mr. Baldwin, I’m having a problem with you and your statement. I’m sure there are plenty of prejudiced, racist people in this country and world for that matter who feel the same way, but you being a “so-called” celebrity who makes his money in the movies and books should know better. But then again, I’m glad you said it (allegedly) because you exposed yourself for the true person you are. Now, if all the black people in this good Ol’ U S of A didn’t run for the border when that Racist, Money Grubbing, War Starting, Burning Bush took office than why would you feel the need to vacate the premises because a black man is now the country’s Commander in Chief? Maybe that’s it. Its not that you believe the policies he plans to implement are wrong but his skin tone is wrong. If he were 100% white I bet that would change everything wouldn’t it? Because a McCain Presidency would be a continuation of George “What the Fuck am I doing” Bush’s Presidency and he has, hands down, the worst Presidency in US History. Mr. Baldwin, I believe you are still a resident of the United States at this time.

Not only have you offended me, but I’m sure plenty of white Obama supporters as well. You have disgraced yourself and your fans, if you have any. If you haven’t noticed Mr. Baldwin, most of Obama’s Supporters are WHITE! He’s not relying on the “Black” Vote to win. You may want to rethink your statements before you make them next time and remember that us “Obama” supporters support you also.

4th of July

2008-07-04T23:05:00.004-04:00

I'm at a cookout today and I've seen all kinds of things. It has been fun though. I'm tired, stuffed and hung over. Well not actually hung over but I did try Ciroc for the first time today. Anyhoo, today reminds me of a song...

O beautiful for spacious skies,

For amber waves of grain,

For purple mountain majesties

Above the fruited plain!

America! America!

God shed his grace on thee

And crown thy good with brotherhood

From sea to shining sea!

Listen to my favorite version of this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOHoN-8ibsY

Can Barack Obama Actually Win?

2008-07-01T16:53:00.006-04:00

Now that Sen. Barack Obama has won the Democratic Nomination, can he actually win. As a CNN Election Headquarters junkie, I constantly witness the personal attacks on this man. When he was in a dead heat with Ol' Hillary, the media's spin of every single aspect of his life prolonged his impending victory. They criticized his pastor, the past affiliations and even scrutinized his early campaign contributors. They picked apart his speeches, his wife's speeches and his Capitol Hill voting record. Nevertheless he persevered and captured the coveted Democratic "Top Dog" Spot. Now that's he's there the media has taken a different spin.

While he was avidly campaigning during the Primary Season, the media charged after this man, slept outside anywhere he was and gave his speeches Prime time placement. They were just fascinated by his charm, prowess and intelligence. Was it the fact that he was black and actually had an education that intrigued them. Are intelligent, degree carrying black folks a rare breed?

Now that Barack has shut the mouths of his nay sayers, the Media has taken yet another spin on his campaign. One anchor for CNN, who by the way is black, actually said, "Is Barack going to Iraq because he knows the cameras will follow him and he can look good in this campaign?" Excuse me, but I thought to win the Presidency a candidate had to campaign. So now he's dammed for campaigning. Whenever he commits a decent act he's accused of being a media hog. Of course if something happens to not compliment his perceived character, the anchors spend nights writing how damaging it is to his campaign and in turn run the "so called" damaging story every 15 mins as headline news.

I truly believe that whomever the anchors damn less will be the winner. Americans listen to higher political authorities like these Republican and Democratic Analysts, Super Delegates etc., instead of listening to their internal voices. Gas is kicking my hind parts and its getting harder and harder to feed my family. Let's not talk about the rising cost of medical attention. So why would I vote for John McCain, the Republican? The Burning Bush is a Republican and the country is the worse its ever been. Even during the 80's Recession, Gas didn't reach $5 a gallon. Both my parents were out of work and my little sister was just a few months old. Even with all that I don't remember it being this hard for us to make it. In this instance, I plan to vote for Barack Obama. Not because he's black, but because he represents Change and this country needs that like oxygen.

My advice to everyone: Look at your situation and the situations of those around you, pray and vote for the best candidate in your eyes and F&*K the media! Oh, most important. Go Vote in November!

Mama's Baby, Papa's Maybe!

2008-07-01T16:49:00.002-04:00

As a woman who is almost perfectly in tune with her body, I know there are only 2 days within the month where pregnancy is possible. I know this because A) I learned this in biology class in high school and how to count up my ovulation days and periods on the calendar and B) I feel the exact moment when my egg is dropping. I often say, “I’m laying eggs today.” So, not knowing who my baby’s daddy will be is not a concern of mine. However, determining the paternity of offspring proves problematic for some people.

Everyday, we watch these train wrecks unfold on daytime talk shows, “I’ve tested 15 men, who’s the daddy?” WTF? Are you trying to tell me that you sleep with 15 men or more within this two day period and you are not a working girl? Okay, I get that every woman may not know when she is ovulating like me. I’ve talked to 4 other woman and not one of them know when they are most fertile during the month. With this point taken, I’m still having a problem. You mean to tell me you have slept with 15 men or more during the month and you are not a working girl? How could you put your vagina on Front Street like that? Not only is that totally unsafe, but it’s stupid. A person’s self esteem has to be virtually nonexistent to allow 15 or more men to enter your being. I’m not saying you can’t have 15 partners period, but 15 in one month? Come on.

I always thought those shows were rigged and the trash that graced those stages were just really bad, paid actors. Although it upset me that some women represented themselves that way, I never in a million years thought I would be so cursed as to actually know it to be true. In speaking with my cousin she informed me of a friend of hers who had 3 children, 2 of which have no named father. What? This lady has tested close to 10 men and none of them hit the lucky bull’s-eye. She even tested all the male members of the late night party train that was run on her and no daddy. Again, I asked my infamous question, “Is she a working girl?” The answer was no. The infinite number of possibilities puzzles me. I don’t understand how you can have sex with so many men that you can’t narrow down a group of men, in which one is your child’s father. The sad thing is that the 3rd child has a blood condition and mama isn’t sure the man in the home that’s supposed to be baby’s daddy is baby’s daddy.

Has society gotten so accepting of this mismanagement of coochie that it is suddenly okay to have your children grow up unaware of their roots? I remember a time where women were scorned by the neighborhood and their parents if they passed their coochies out like Halloween candy. Remember Shug Avery? We seriously need to stop buying into this crap. Let’s turn off the ghetto fabulous talk shows and the booty bouncing videos that glorify sex with multiple partners and start raising our children properly. Taking responsibility for teaching our children, especially our young ladies, to conduct themselves like proper young ladies and gentlemen will break the perpetual cycle of wreck less sex and irresponsibility. Men, how about taking time out for your children instead of spending your days on the street corner outside the local convenience store. Tell your daughters how special they are and they won’t need to search for validation from random men. Teach your son’s responsibility and that he is to take care of his children and he won’t spend his time making random babies. Its time to take back our communities and be the unified proud race of old. I’m tired of being embarrassed by my people.

Guns A Blazin

2008-07-01T16:07:00.004-04:00

In this country we enjoy certain liberties that have been made available to us by the US Constitution. Amendments to this glorious document granted us the right to free speech, freedom to choose religious practices, free press and the right to a peaceful assembly. Among these so-called "Civil Liberties" is the right to Bear Arms.

Now, I agree with a homeowner's right to protect his home and his family against crime. In today's time, its almost essential as the crime rate has rapidly increased due to the ever worsening economy. However, does this right entitle you to shoot random people on the street for crimes not involving you? I understand that it may be hard for you to witness a wrong, but is it morally, constitutionally, or legally right for you to take matters in your own hands?

Mr. Joe Horn of Pasedena, TX took it upon himself to shoot two burgulars escaping from his neighbors house with some of their possessions. He called 911 and explained to authorities what was happening and proceeded to tell them he was going to stop it. Against the warnings of the 911 dispatch, Mr. Horn exited his home, shot gun in tow and fatally wounded the two suspects. Yesterday, in court, Mr. Horn got off. Not one charge filed. The suspects were found to be two illegal immigrants.

I have a real problem with this because I can't help but think that If I had pulled the trigger and killed two white men robbing my black neighbor's home, I would have been convicted and sentenced to jail time in excess of 25 years. Especially if the police instructed me to not leave my home. Now, this guy not only ignores the police, he kills two people! I know the men had no right to burgularize this home, but damn. Did they deserve to be shot in the back?

Has this country gone so array that certain people can be so brazen and kill people with no consequences? Or is there an elite club to which people like me are not invited? One thing is for sure: Criminals, it does not pay to committ a crime these days. Ordinary citizens are just as desperate as you are and stop at nothing, including killing yo ass, to protect themselves and people around them.

Criminals: Take heed and get a job, and don't rely on the possessions of others; we will shoot yo ass!

911 Call : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7jqLie6-Y0 -

Innocence Lost

2008-06-26T10:09:00.004-04:00

Never in my life did I ever think that I would be writing a blog about this particular subject. Thank you Mario for bringing this to my attention. Chuck E. Cheese has lost his innocence, so to speak. No the big rat didn't fondle or grope a kid on the arcade floor or anything like that, but the musical selections that throughly entertained us over the years have been compromised.

Now, back in the day, when Chuck E. Cheese was Showbiz Pizza, I loved going there. It was great,fun, magical even. They used to sing this song..." I love Cheese pizza, I eat it all the time...." It was a catchy little diddy that I still remember 22 years later. That's powerful. So when Showbiz Pizza changed to Chuck E. Cheese's I was excited and disappointed at the same time, because I had grown to love Munch- the ape mascot. He was now replaced by a Rat aply named Mr. Chuck E. Cheese. His rhythmic band played melodic sounds to entertain the kid in all of us and embed the Chuck E. Cheese brand in our brains. I soon forgot about Munch and Showbiz and embraced Chuck E. as I swayed back and forth to the music as I gobbled my hamburger and red onion pizza accompanied by my salad from the neverending salad bar. I even had my 22nd birthday party there, equipped with College aged friends terrorizing the kids in the arcade. It was fun for everyone. Where a kid can be a kid right?

So imagine my shock when I witnessed a video of the Infamous Chuck E. Cheese band playing Usher's Love in this Club. You have got to be kidding me. Has Mr. Cheese's profits sunk so low that the band now has to play hip hop and R&B to boost sales? Last time I check that piece was slammed up and jammed up with screaming children and parents popping excedrin. Every single time I drive by, the parking lot is full almost to capacity and on the weekends, Forget about it. My son loves it and I keep the token bucket stocked with at least 100 tokens at a time for his sudden urges to visit the Cheese. I understand and agree that the band needed to change its reportoire and choreography for a hipper, fresher audience, but Usher? And, Love in this Club of all things? A sexually charged song not really made for kids. I would like to think that Mr. Cheese would not stoop so low to get a rise out of the patrons. I hope for his sake and the sake of the children frequenting his establishment that the video was the prank of a bored Cheese employee playing around after hours, because if this is the direction Chuck E. Cheese is headed, what's next, Strippers at Disney World?

Bats in the Belfry

2008-06-25T10:17:00.003-04:00

If ever we needed a man. There are some instances where we strong, independent women make this statement. We headstrong women convince ourselves we don't need a man and some of us don't want one. However, there comes a time when we not only want one but need one.

A friend of mine had a bat in her house last night and it scared her half to death. Instead of trying to kill it or chase it out with a boom, she ran in her room, looked the door and jumped on the bed. She called me in frantic mode as she sat rocking back and forth holding herself. I laughed but felt for her at the same time. Where are the men when you need them? A man could have taken care of this instead of her calling 911 to have the Fire Department come and kill the bat. There's A Bat in my House...remember that from Hollywood Shuffle? Actually, they didn't kill the bat but threw it out the window. As the Fire Dept. did their thing, my girl stood on her table shaking like a leaf. She was talking so fast and breathing so hard. I felt so sorry and helpless. I can see it now, my girl standing and screaming in the room as the bat roamed the living room like he paid the rent this month, screaming, "Where are all the men when I need them?"

So after much contemplation, I finally got the answer...men are there to kill those bats, spiders, roaches and rats etc., that sometimes plague us. Let me not forget to mention my other friend's trouble with the Diamond Back Rattle Snake. They are there to hang the shower curtain when it falls, the blinds when they come down ( Samantha, Sex and the City), and move in the new couches when we don't want to pay for delivery. They are handy when the pipes are clogged, the light bulbs need changing and when the car breaks down. Honorable mention: The flat tire needs changing. They are also there to comfort us when we are upset instead of us nursing a bottle of alcohol because we can't stop shaking after the damn bat inhabited the house. My girl was contemplating sleeping in a hotel last night. I wonder if she did. A man could have shut this whole disaster down. Only problem would be if the man were afraid of the bat too. Damn.

BET Awards Revisited.

2008-06-25T09:52:00.004-04:00

My people, my people. Here are a few questions and/or comments I had while watching last nights BET Awards.

Why take the time to sag your jeans if you are going to keep pulling them up, Chris Brown?

My child knows Young Jeezy, I put on for my city. How'd that happen?

OK, just because there is a delay doesn't mean you have to curse your entire song. We at home want to hear more than moments of dead air, Young Jeezy and Kanye!

Who were the two broke down chicks in the too little dresses? Oh, they were Keisha Cole's family members.

Why didn't more acts use live bands instead of studio tracks?

Why did Ne-Yo's performance remind me of Michael Jackson's Dangerous performance on the MTV Awards?

What is up with Ashanti wearing her thighs out every time we see her?

Mc Lyte we understand you are a devastating diva who represents on the mic, but why are you screaming your voice overs?

Damn, Alicia, you got some big hips!

Who's idea was it to bring SWV's Old hind parts back? Good to see them though. I see Ms. CoCo cut her nails.

Envogue Reunion? I'm enjoying this part. Good memories. They need to come back.

Why are they making fun of adoption? Don't approve at all.. Shame on you Niecy!

Did Kanye really win or did they give it to him so he wouldn't flip out?

WTF was Rick Ross thinking coming out with his belly on front street?

Who put the molasses in T-Pain's hind parts when he accepted the award with Kanye?

Didn't realize how much I missed Maxwell. Honey, leave the rocks alone and get back in the studio. You have too much talent to waste.

What Academy was Al Green thanking?

WTF did Tom Joyner have on? Wow.

When did Antwone Fisher get a wife?

Why did the girl go onstage with Weezy wearing a black tank, Capri pants , equipped with the purse to match, and why did the whole family accept with him? Were they on the album?

All in all the awards show was one of the better ones, we still have some areas to work on though.

Oh, honorable mention from a friend: Why is alcohol the one thing Diddy decided to push last night? Ciroc vodka is the joint, just what black America needs...more liquor!

Jill Scott Gets Her Man.

2008-06-24T16:40:00.004-04:00

My my my Ms. Scott. Well congratulations on your recent engagement. You are truly an inspiration to plus size women everywhere. Hey, women period for that matter and thank you sooooo much for the Butterfly Bra. You Go Girl. You are blessed to find love once again after your divorce. That gives us still single women hope that true romance and love are possible.

However, my question then becomes...is it that easy to find love if you are not a celebrity? When Ms. Scott serenaded us with Lyzell in E flat we truly believed that she was in love and wanted to not only be her but in love with the man she was in love with because it sounded so wonderful. She made love sound so sweet and innocent and deep. We all wanted it and want it. When Ms. Scott announced her divorce we all said oh no..not Lyzell...gone. A part of our hearts died with Jill's relationship. So when Ms. Scott supposedly hooked up with Lamaan Rucker, we were excited again for both of them. Hey Jill, damn girl good catch. Go head!

Now Ms. Scott announces her engagement to Jon Roberts, her drummer and it seems like true love once again. Again, we are happy for her, at least I am. But, I have to wonder, if I put myself in her situation, would my friends be so happy for me? Would I be looked upon with admiration or with one eyebrow raised?

Attack of the Killer Children

2008-06-24T11:48:00.006-04:00

While sitting in the lobby of my son's Dentist this morning, I witnessed several different interactions with the other waiting parents and their kids. These relationships left me quite puzzled and damn near upset. Why would I be upset or concerned for that matter, about someone else's business? Because their experiences inter feared with my experience. I hate going places and they are plagued with out of control children. Stores, restaurants, and Airplanes are the worst. Just shoot me already. Each time I see a childzilla I look at mine and say, "I wish you would." He looks at me and says, "What did I do?". I say, "Nothing and you better not even think about it." What do the parents of the childzilla do in most cases? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Hello! This is not creative expression, its annoying, torture to the people around you. Wake up. But, I digress. Oh, back to the dentist appt...

First of all let me say that I realize that every place I go will not be filled with tranquility and zen like vibes, however, some places like the lobby of a dentist office should be quiet enough to give the kids the opportunity to think about their impending doom behind the big white doors. As I sat there and waited for my son to finish I picked up a magazine: 30 Minute Meals by Rachel Ray and started to plan next week's experimental meals to break up some of the monotony in my monochromatic life. When all of a sudden a couple walks in with two little boys, Daniel and Tristan. Why do I know the names of these children? Because the father proceeded to scream their names across the lobby in a loud booming voice every time Tristan got out of hand which was every 30 seconds. The kids looked to be about 4 and 3 with Tristan being the youngest. They were dressed alike in blue and red racing outfits with blond newsboy cuts. To the average onlooker they would present Angelic and peaceful. NOT! Well at least Tristan wasn't.

Tristan proceeded to slap his, what I deduced to be his step mom, in the face and kick her as she tried to put his shoes on after dad took Daniel to the little boy's room. All she said was, "Sit still honey so I can put your shoes on so you don't slip on anything." Dad and Daniel come out and step-mom goes to the car for something. Dad gets on the phone and starts yelling at baby mama, I assume, for the kid's social security numbers and that she'd better come up with it. When she said she didn't have it, he yelled at her, "Yeah the boys are fine and I told you they had dentist appts. this morning, bye!" He hangs up as step-mom re-enters the lobby. She sits beside dad and helps Daniel get a book. Tristan, obviously bored with this situation, decided to blow the Popsicle stand and leave. Now, I'm faced with a dilemma. Do I chase Tristan or not since I seem to be the only one who witnesses his escape. I decide in the affirmative, because after all if it were mine I'd want intervention, so I get up to apprehend Master Tristan in the parking lot. As I am in motion, Dad notices him in his escape and sprints for the door. He nabs Tristan in the nick of time and swats him on the bottom twice and says get inside and drags him in kicking and screaming. Relieved I didn't have to intervene, I sat back down and grabbed my magazine.

They sit Tristan at the kiddie table where he proceeds to kick the walls and bang on the table. Now the other parents, myself included, are annoyed and curious to see how this family is going to handle this situation. Dad proceeds to yell, "Daniel!!!, I mean Trissssstan, Stop it!" This guy is so confused, he can't even remember the name of the child he is yelling at. This exact exchange happens, no exaggeration, 6 more times. "Daniel!!!!!, I mean Trissssstan, Daniel!!!, I mean Trissssstan, Stop it!" You get the picture. On top of all of this, Tristan is yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs.

Realizing that the noise is not going to cease anytime soon, I try to tune Tristan out and get back to my magazine. In walks a woman who doesn't look a day older than me, with a Gothic young lady around the age of 11 or so. This mother asks her daughter if she is in pain and the girl totally ignores her. She stares straight ahead and never acknowledges her questions. The mother spends 3 mins pleading for the girl to answer her and she finally says no. The mother then gets up to take something to the window and then comes back and says, " I know you are upset but you don't have to forget your manners," and then kisses her on the head. This continued the entire time they were there. So now the scene is...Tristan screaming and yelling at the top of his lungs, kicking the wall, Dad screaming the names of both children and mom in the corner begging her child to talk to her. Calgon, take me away!! Ugh.

To add to this madness, my son comes out and says the doctor wants to see you. They proceed to tell me that he has 3 cavities and will need to be sedated. OK I say and we enter into the sedation room. They give him the knock out punch and I proceed to read yet another magazine. After about 10 minutes, he starts truly bugging and falling all over the seats, me and the floor. I tell him to get up and lay across the group of 3 chairs on the other wall. He does so and he is blissfully sleep and I'm calmly reading my magazine once again. I never realized you could make so many different dishes with pears! Finally a piece of paradise in the midst of this ever shrinking hell hole. Well, paradise was short lived as another mother and her two children entered the room. Now, I had to pick Len up and sit him next to me with him slobbering at the mouth and speaking in tongues. The mother and her two sit down and her baby son, dressed in a t shirt, a diaper and sandals, proceeds to jump around the room and through his Gerber Finger treats onto the floor and eat them. The mother does little to stop this. So now I have Len speaking in tongues and falling all over the place( he actually ended up in the floor), little half dressed baby throwing Gerber treats, Spongebob on the television and a pounding headache. I actually said, this is such a major disaster as I shook my head. To top it all off, the woman is looking at me and Len as if she's studying us and her child in now headfirst under the chairs. I don't get it. Has parenting come to this....let the child do what they want? They finally come and get Len for his mini surgery and I go back to the main lobby.

As I enter, Tristan is still terrorizing the place, Daniel is in the back and two new children have joined the group. However, these children, a little black girl and boy, were playing quietly with their parents and were the most mild mannered children I've ever seen. Hmmm. What gives? I sat with my magazine, tried to have a phone conversation which I couldn't complete because Tristan made the voice on the other end inaudible. Damn. I wanted to check my acct balance and had to go outside because the automated system was too sensitive to continue working through Tristan's yells. Once back inside, Len was ready. He came out all crusty with fluoride dried on his lips, staggering and falling against the walls, talking bout he couldn't feel his lips. My, my, my what a trip from Hell.

As horrible as this sounds, it was actually mild compared to some of the things I have witnessed over the years. The battle I had with my own child on December 20, 2006 in the Gymboree at Columbiana Mall comes flooding back to my memory. You know it had to be bad if I remember the date. We proceeded to fight in the middle of the store which ended up with me carrying him kicking and screaming out of the store and dropping him in the floor in the middle of the mall, stepping over him and leaving. Thank God my girlfriend Patrice was with me or I don't know how he would have made it home that night. She brought him home, made him dinner and put him to bed as I terminated my parental rights in the mall. He knew I was finished because he went from calling me Mama to Ms. Ursula. It was a spectacle and I'd never been so embarrassed in my life. So, I can imagine the humiliation that parents feel when their children act out in public. However, most parents choose to not do anything about it or yell and scream with no results. I guess I'm asking for there to be a better way to control these children and these on the brink of insanity parents. Any suggestions? Anyone?

Excuses

2008-06-23T10:41:00.006-04:00

Excuses are tools of incompetence. They build monuments of nothingness. Those who use them seldom do anything.

After recent conversations with my girlfriends I was inspired to ask the question: Why are men full of excuses?

We were discussing the fact that one of my girlfriends pretty much laid what she wanted and expected on the line. With that being said she also encouraged and highlighted the potential in her man to achieve these things. Now she didn't ask for a million dollar home and a Porsche parked out front, but she did say she wanted a home, a nice car and the ability to vacation.

These are simple things we as women want. Who wouldn't want security? In my circle of friends we all have master's degrees and good jobs. As a matter of fact, I'm the only one who doesn't, so I think, have a good job I mean. But that's another blog entirely. Anyhoo, when you have a professional, educated woman, she isn't willing to just accept anything, at least not all the time. If we have our own things, we want a man with something to bring to the table be it education, a good job etc. We aren't likely to accept that dude on the couch smoking week, and playing video games all day.

Back to my friend, she told him that she did not approve of his unwillingness to handle his business, effectively finish school and being comfortable in a dead end job like Kentucky Fried. Instead of him heeding her warnings or actually accepting constructive criticism, he flipped and got mad at her for saying what really needed to be said. Sometimes, people including myself, need a swift kick in the hind parts to get it together. However, I don't get mad at the people telling me even if it does hurt or sting a little. We deduced that he would start making up excuses to break up with her because she raised the bar and he's afraid to reach for it. He's used to doing the bare minimum and doing more would be stepping out of his comfort zone.

Sure enough, he started bringing up old stuff and things she said and/or did in 2005. Last time I checked this was 2008. If he didn't get mad or upset about it then, why is he upset about it now. Excuses. Instead of saying, hey I love you and I'm gonna try, he gets mad and acts like a child. My head hurts now cause my one of my best friends is upset over a man who can't see just how much she loves him and wants to be with him, but wants him to be the person she knows he can be. Problem is, he doesn't see it in himself. How do you fix it?

The argument of most men in this situation or others like it would be that the woman is trying to change him into something he isn't. "She knew what I was when she met me." This is absolute bull. A woman is not wrong to want a man to want more out of life. Who said you have to just do the bare minimum to make it. Strive to be all you can be. You only get one shot, why blow it? There is more to life then fun and games. There comes a time when you have to grow up, be a man and accept some responsibility. That is such a turn on to women...A man who has his life together. Hmmmm, Sexy. A man who takes care of his children and takes charge...sexy. A man who takes care of home and still treats his woman like the queen she is...extremely sexy!

Women are nurturers by nature, but we don't want to take on the role of our partner's mother! We want an equal, not someone we have to carry. If we handle all things alone, why do we want another able bodied person in the house adding to the light bill, food bill, insurance etc. who isn't helping. Spouses are supposed to be help meets, not I need helpers! I may be a little harsh but time is out for all this dragging and pulling and begging a man to be a man. We deserve better than that. Instead of getting themselves together they come up with more excuses than a man going to jail... "You keep an attitude, I don't like what you said 3 years ago, You make me feel bad about myself, Your family doesn't like me, You're a dream killer, etc." This is such a crock of bull if I ever heard it. We would never criticize a man who is trying, making an effort, getting off his lazy hind parts and looking. At least most women won't. However, when your man becomes a "Franklin Swift"( Wesley Snipes character in the movie Disappearing Acts by Terry McMillan) and you spend more time asking if he looked for work that day or called that person or that person, its time to speak up. For women looking to get married, that is terrifying. This means nothing will ever be taken care of, the children wouldn't be picked up if need be, the bill money would be mismanaged etc. Or the woman would have to do everything to make sure the house is running effectively and if that is the case, why is the husband even there? They make toys for sexual gratification!

How about this, Men get yourselves together, be men, and we won't have to voice our opinions about you. Therefore your feelings won't be hurt and you won't have to make up stupid excuses to end the relationship rather than accepting responsibility. Ladies here's the new motto: Only Real Men Need Apply!

Life Made Easier

2008-06-23T10:00:00.004-04:00

Our lives today are enhanced by the numerous inventions that man has created. So today I salute those men and women who have made our lives just a little easier. I'm not talking about the obvious inventions like electricity, the wheel, telephone and television, I mean the ones we don't readily think about. So I say thank you to the people who made the following things:

1. The little plastic rings at the end of shoe laces so they don't come unravelled.

2. The navigation system. Now those men don't have to swallow pride and ask for directions.

3. The home water filter.

4. The Smoothie King

5. The power outlet you can plug in your car to charge things

6. The tape dispenser.

7. Condoms

8. paper clips

9. The tip card

10. Pill boxes

11. Velcro

12. Thank you Eli Whitney for making the Cotton Gin!!

13. 3 ring binders

14. recycling

15. baby powder

16. Video Games

17. flash cards

18. The vacuum that sucks all the junk out of your computer keyboard

19. QVC

20. The Food Network

21. File Cabinets

22. white out

23. Time-Out

24. disposable diapers

25. Epidurals

26. Anesthesia

27. upholstery

28. carpet

29. bug spray

30. the new energy saving light bulbs

31. George Foreman Grill

32. Bluetooth

33. email

34. text messages

35. websites

36. the Internet itself

I could go on for hours but who has that much time?

Language Disconnect

2008-06-19T10:35:00.006-04:00

In my job I take calls daily from families interested in adopting children. I have the children logged according to numbers and letters. When I get these calls I ask for the last 4 DIGITS of the id number. Most often than not the caller responds...010B. When did the letter B become a digit? So I respond so the last 4 Digits are 3010? Yes, that's it, they respond. When it happened yesterday, it started me to thinking about other things we do and say that are just backwards. For instance:

1. Mash that Button: You Mash Potatoes, you press buttons

2. Cut out that light: You cut vegetables, you turn off lights

3. I'm fixin to: Fixin to what? Don't you fix items or food?

3.5 Hey, you don't fix food! You prepare food, you fix things that are broken. LoL!

4. I have a great ideal: opposed to great idea.

5. Why is daytime drama called Soap Operas?

6. Why do we look at the radio when we are really listening as though we can see the image or see through the radio into the studio?

7. Why do we talk louder when the cell phone is cutting up as if the louder volume will make the other person understand better?

8. Why do we say the cell phone is cutting up instead of saying the signal is fading.

9. Why do we talk louder when we can't hear someone. They aren't the ones with the problem.

10. Why do we always nod our heads, smile and say yes when we don't understand what someone is saying to us. We could be agreeing with anything.

11. Why are bill collectors nasty and rude. Don't they realize that pissing people off doesn't get the bill paid?

12. Why do people call you back when you tell them you will call them back?

13. Why do people call you with nothing to say? Stay off the phone!

14. Why do people answer text messages but not the phone?

15. Why do we walk all over the house looking for the television remote instead of getting up to change the channel?

oops, forgot one!!

16. Why do we yell at the television during sporting events as though the player and/or coaches can hear us?

This is all I can think of at this moment. If you have more, please leave a comment and lets share a laugh today!

Something for Nothing? Don't Think So!

2008-06-18T11:49:00.000-04:00

With the economy being what it is, this blogger has seen her fair share of heartache and debt. I feel like I keep playing an LP with a scratch in it ( like my Michael Jackson Off the Wall where it was scratched on Don't stop Til you Get Enough after he said Wooo!...Wooo!, Wooo!, Wooo!.) by continuing to blog about this stuff, but someone has to keep drawing attention to it or the powers that be will continue to ignore us.

Again, with the economy being so bad everyone is looking for ways to make extra income. With that being said, Con artists are taking advantage of our desire to get ahead and make life comfortable for our families. I'm not talking about those stupid emails you get promising you exorbitant amounts of money if you give them your bank acct number and help them cash these supposed checks that their country can't cash. Anyone who falls for that is very stupid. Well, maybe not stupid, but more so desperately desperate and at the end of their rope. Well, wait a minute...that's 6o% of Americans. Unemployment is on the rise, Gas is astronomical, Food prices are ridiculous and salary raises are stagnant. So I guess, its easy for us to become targets of buffoonery.

Every time we check our faxes or open our emails our in boxes are full of emails advertising...Work for home, Make thousands a week, get into the real estate game, Live the life you want, Hollywood wants you to be in their next movie, claim your free Dell computer, we got your resume, Visit Orlando, Daytona and Mexico for $99/ per person etc. How is all this possible? Its not. Let's pick these examples apart...

1. Work From Home: I admit, yes me, the wise one has been burned by this one on more than one occasion. First, it was stuff envelopes and we'll pay you so much a week for how many envelopes you stuff. So my mom and I sent the money order in for the kit. What came in the mail was a list of companies we could work for and a tutorial on how to place an ad in the paper and get other fools to do the same thing we just did and get paid for it. Meaning, the person that sent us our kit got paid to mail our kit to us. Get it...stuffing envelopes. Never mind that they portrayed themselves in a manner that led us to believe they would mail us a thousand pieces of mail and a thousand envelopes and it would be our job to assemble and stuff and mail. What happened? Nothing, the bank wouldn't stop the money order because a police report was needed, the company had an F rating with the Better Business Bureau with hundreds of complaints from others they had scammed out of their monies.

On another occasion, I got an email to work from home, making calls for an insurance company. They had a website, with so-called testimonies from satisfied users and copies of supposed checks. Problem... F rating with Better Business Bureau, unsatisfied users and no customer service number available to call. Needless to say I ran far, far away and deleted all correspondence.

2. Live the Life you Want: Again, these people try to get people to sign up to get the "secret" to wealth and how they are all so happy. Problem, only the company is getting rich because the consumers are paying for the "secret" and the "secret" is a big "Gotcha!" The consumer can't get their money back in most cases and the website owners are laughing all the way to the bank. Come to think of it, those photos and testimonies probably are real, they are the website/companies owners bragging on how they have scammed thousands of people out of their hard earned dollars. Bustas

3. Hollywood wants You: Well, well, well, yours truly got burned by this one too. Being that my friend is an actor and has worked on several movies as an extra in his day, I felt this one was safe. However, I didn't think about the fact that he has an agent that sends him on these jobs. I got an email saying I could have a Hollywood website where agents would see me and I would get notifications about movies being filmed in my area and could go be an extra. I took the bait cause in my day I've worked on a movie or two ( through the film commission mind you) and made $150/day or more. So, I knew it was possible. So I signed up for the special offer of $1.95 to get started and get your site. What they failed to tell me was that my credit card would continuously be charged month after month for $49.95 and they would not send not one listing. When I tried to cancel the membership, I was told that those were the terms and I should have paid more attention. However, there were no terms, you had to sign up and pay first and get correspondence later to read over..like 2 days later. Why was I so stupid to fall for it? Because I wanted extra income to help cover mounting, never ending, household bills that my job nor my Bachelor's and Master's Degrees aren't paying. I wanted to work in the field I went to school for, get paid and network so I could stay in the field. I was totally taken advantage of because of my desperate desire to succeed. Again F rating on the BBB! Happy Ending though, my credit card company did shut it down. Amen!

4. Claim Your Free Dell Computer: We've all fallen for this one. We get an email claiming we've won something spectacular. Something we probably can't afford to just buy outright. So we click on it and see what it says. Well, guess what? You have to answer 50 different surveys and join offers and advertisements so people can start telemarketing you and you never make it to the damn prize, but what has happened? About 20 different companies now have your name, address and phone number and they start calling you 30 mins after you get tired and close out the email. This really started happening after we all called the "Do Not Call" number and deleted our numbers from the telemarketing database. This was a slick way for companies to get us back because hey...we signed up for it right? I don't know a sole that actually got any product advertised. What we have gotten is Brad calling from xyz insurance with great quotes or Kevin from See and Do Orlando who has a great vacation package for us to pay for.

5. We Got Your Resume: Just today I got an email from a company that I sent a resume to off Career Builder. Me thinking that this is a reputable employment website and the companies represented were reputable I applied for a job. I got an impressive email stating they received my resume and they were very impressed. So much so that they had forwarded it to upper management and were seriously considering me for an interview next week. Sounds great right? Wrong. In order for them to finish "processing" my resume within their company I had to sign up for and receive information about higher education, IE..online universities. "Because the company values the desire to further education within their employees and compensate for this and provide tuition reimbursement". So, I signed up against my better judgement and started the surveys. It was page after page of universities not offering the degree I wanted, so I got annoyed and stopped. What happened? I got a call about an hour ago from Kevin in the higher education department wanting to speak with me. Any word from the supposed job? Heck no.

Since I applied for quite a few jobs, I got another email from a jewelry company( that I never applied to) saying they viewed my resume on Career Builder and wanted to hire me. Impressive. Well, its a jewelry manufacturer in Europe and they pay $85,000 base. Base? That means commission job or something. The email ended in...email me back if you want more info on the job and don't reply to this one but to this email instead. Also, there was no phone number to call or a company address or nothing. Why do people keep playing with my emotions?

6. Visit Orlando/ Daytona etc.: Boy do I really feel foolish after writing this. I've learned just how gullible or naive I really am. I got a fax at work about a wonderful vacation package to Disney for 7 days and with it came 3 other vacations to Daytona, Vegas and Jamaica. Since my friend and I had just come from Jamaica and definitely wanted to go back, I jumped on the offer. It cost me $354.00. Needless to say, we never got to use the package, because when I called to use it, I couldn't reach anyone, blackout dates etc. The package expired, although if I had paid an additional $75 I could have extended the package for another year. I didn't. But what I did do is like a fool, is accept another package and agree to pay another $125 for a year and got a whole slew of new vacations. Problem...they charged my acct when they were not supposed to and I had to fight to get them to give me my money back and I cancelled the package. The lady that sold me the package called me and told me how she lied to me when she sold the package and told me that she and her daughter had gone and loved it. She lied about how easy it would be to use it and how many satisfied customers she had. I actually was her third call of the day and all of her customers were very unsatisfied and wanted their money back. Realizing that she was representing a fraudulent company she vowed she was leaving before the Feds shut down the company and hauled her off the jail with the management. Laughable. She was a sista from NC. Why are these companies able to get away with this stuff? Because the Feds don't care cause we, the consumers, don't speak up. I'm actually looking at an offer fresh off the fax this morning...

11 Day Magical Vacation... 5 days and 4 nights in Orlando plus 3 days and 2 nights in Daytona Beach and F. Lauderdale, plus 3 days and 2 nights Bahamas Cruise with a Bonus: 5 days Cancun or 7 days Puerto Vallarta..All this for $99 per person. Sounds Too Good to be true right? It is!

The only people getting rich are these bustas scamming the rest of the hard working public. I'm beginning to think that there are not any more legitimate jobs available other than the dead end, no paying ones we are currently working. Everyone wants to be able to call their own shots and be their own bosses cause the ones we work for are crazy and credit stealing, but is this really possible?

Is There Really a Such Thing as an Affordable Vacation?

2008-06-12T11:44:00.000-04:00

With everyone singing the same sad song of seemingly never ending brokeness, is it really feasible to take your family on a full filling, fun-filled vacation? My answer is no. Every time you turn on the television you see commercials for vacations...Disney, Vegas, Jamaica etc. Steve Harvey is forever telling us we can afford to travel in style and treat our families. He is also telling us we can afford to eat healthy, but that's another blog by itself. I understand the tourism industry trying to stay viable in this day and time but what about the working family? Our finances aren't viable enough to actually pull off these vacations. Now I admit, a few years ago, I was balling out of control...taking trips to Jamaica, LA every year, Vegas, Santa Fe, Albuquerque etc. It was fun and I had the time of my life. I really did. But, I should have savored the moments because I haven't been on vacation in 2 years now. The economy has quickly crumbled into the molting mound of debt and heartache it is today. Even the tears of the many can't reverse this action and Disney wants us to spend 1600 for a family of four for 7 days. In normal times this may not be bad but now...forget about it! Unless you live in the Orlando area you will spend much more than that because you have to get there in the first place.

So maybe my sights are set too high in wanting to take my son to Disney. So how about a trip to Myrtle Beach? Well, let's see.

Gas round trip and there: $175 - at current Gas prices of $3.85/gallon

Hotel Accommodations (2 nites): $270 - at average hotel prices not including taxes

Spending Money $200 - including food, and attractions- no shows

Total for a 2 day wknd- 2 1/2 hrs away $645- for me and my son alone.

For me to pull this off I would have to either not pay the rent, which would cover it, or not pay the light bill, the car payment, and the cell phone bill. Then I could pull it off. That's a shame.

So how do we achieve that much needed rest and relaxation without breaking the bank and neglecting household bills? My guess is aim low, plan small and simple. I suggested a camping trip to my neighborhood state park. I have Sesqui park right across town. So let's figure up that trip...

Gas round trip: $ 35 - can get there and back on 1/2 tank or less

Tent $ Free- my job has one I can borrow

Food $ 75 - including grill, and hot dogs with fixins

Bedding $ Free - I own a blow up mattress

Cooler $ Free - I own one

Camping fee $ 25

Total Cost of neighborhood camping trip: $135.00 for me and my son alone

Now will this trip provide much rest or relaxation? Probably not because my son is scared of the dark and there won't be a night lite. He's scared of bugs and hello, its in the woods. He's full of energy and there won't be much to do but run around. There is no power therefore no movies etc. But hey, its cheap and its a getaway!

Is this what we vacation enthusiasts have been reduced to? Camping in your seemingly backyards? God please help us. I want to go back to Vegas, visit Hawaii and go to my sister's graduation in Los Angeles soon! There has to be rest for the weary that's not six feet under. Actually a friend told me they don't dig six feet anymore, so maybe 4 feet under. But who wants to vacation that way? Anybody got any suggestions?

Its Blazing Hot....Why?

2008-06-10T16:20:00.000-04:00

For the past few weeks, many of us have been experiencing record breaking temperatures, which have altered our daily lives. We are carefully planning activities that require being outside as little as possible. I think we can literally fry an egg on the sidewalk with a side of bacon. I'm sure our electric company is loving the extreme temps cause that means more money for them. But, why is it so hot? Well, I have a theory...flow with me.

Some of the most amazing events of our lives have been happening and shocking the world. All we can say is Damn...that's hot. All of this heat has to manifest itself somewhere. Don't believe me? Read on....

1. Sen. Barack O'Bama won the Democratic Nomination for President of the United States. That's huge, historical, electricity and excitement building. In other words...Damn...that's hot.

2. Hillary Clinton lost. A Bush or Clinton will not be on the Presidential Ballot. (They thought they were shoo-ins didn't they?) Damn....that's hot.

3. The Lakers and the Celtics are in the NBA Finals!! Need I say more. Damn...that's hot!

4. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson got divorced. Damn...that's hot!

5. Gas prices are so high we are walking and biking. Damn...its hot!

6. Angelina Jolie is having twins adding to her already multi-ethnic household. Damn...that's hot.

7. Jay-z and Beyonce got married making them a super duper power couple. Damn...that's too hot.

8. Jill Scott designed the Butterfly Bra for us Beautifully Bodacious Sistas. Damn....that's so hot.

9. The Kelly J. Hunter Group was introduced to the world. Damn...that's on Fire!

10. Serena Williams is on the Cover of Ebony Magazine and looks like a real girl. Damn...that's making the guys hot.

So with all this hotness in the world, its no wonder we are blazing out here. Question is just how much hotter can it get before we explode?

The Life of a Single Mother

2008-05-01T14:43:00.000-04:00

Why is life so hard and complicated for the single mother? It seems as though many doors are closed to us and many people look down on and penalize us for being one. What everyone needs to realize is that Single mother's are some of the hardest working individuals in today's society.

We, single mother's can't catch a break. Daycare is outrageous and there aren't vouchers available unless you are unemployed. Why would an out of work woman need daycare? The school system looks at us as though we don't care about the education of our children. I make it a point to be at every parent/teacher conference and I call regularly. I'm also a school volunteer who travels with my son on field trips.

The work ethic of the single mother is often impeccable. We work multiple jobs in order to make ends meet because we most likely don't have support (emotional or financial) from the baby's daddy. So, we are left in unique positions...sink or swim. However, I feel we are being punished by society for doing it by ourselves. What if we don't want a man or have a man or require a man? Isn't that our prerogative? The Government is trying to say a family consists of a Man and a Woman- married. So my son and I are not a family unit? I need a man to have a family? I think not. The number of children in foster care who will actually achieve permanency is affected by this. Why? Because the married couples most likely have all the children they want unless they are unable to have kids and in this instance they want infants. So that leaves the school aged and adolescent child. They are mostly adopted by single women who don't have plans to marry but who want to be mothers, thus making them Single Mothers. They are now grouped in a class of low lifes even though they signed on to save a life. Yes, I said low lifes because that is how society views us; as if we just decided to lay down, spread our legs and have babies without consequences. Who knew that dead beat was gonna run?

"I still don't understand the penalty", you say. Example. I went to get my nails manicured yesterday, the receptionist asks, "Do you have someone to sit with your son cause he's not allowed in the back?" I said, "No, he can't sit on the bench?". She says, "No, sorry." So I turn and leave. Damn, a sista can't even get her nails done without a babysitter? Same thing when I went to get my hair relaxed. I didn't even get in the door before I was met with a sign: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED IN THE SALON UNLESS THEY ARE BEING SERVICED! What? What am I supposed to do? Pay a babysitter to get basic services? So unfair. If the salon owners were single mother's I bet they'd understand and be empathic to our plight. I understand they don't want bad a$$ children running around their shop, but in that case ask them to leave. Don't ban all kids based on the actions of a few.

How do we fix this problem? Instead of looking down on single mothers as though they are fungus on your feet, uplift them and applaud their efforts. Single mothers have raised some of the most prominent people in society, just look at Sen. Obama!

Commercials We Love

2008-04-29T10:17:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNW4Rnx0kxk

Name that Commercial…

1. Five, Five Dollar, Five Dollar Foot Long!
2. What is the inverse of Jan. 3? Answer: September 19th.
3. Uh, my car broke down up the street. I need to come and use your phone.

4. So Easy, Even a Caveman can do it!
5. Look 36 just put braces on his boy!
6. Hey, I need some of those cushiony NBA Socks for my footsies
7. Life comes at you fast.
8. In my Toyota Corolla, So Fresh
9. Priceless
10. It.
11. It’s the choice of a new generation
12. Who you calling cootie queen you lint licker!
13. Phylicia, those are her whites in the dryer.

Are these commercials really helping these companies sell their products or are they just must see tv for the consumer? With the economy being in such bad shape as it is, my guess is that they’re pure entertainment. We like to follow story lines and chronical the lives of characters. Remember the Taster’s Choice Commercials with the two neighbors falling in love? What ever happened with them anyway? We love the catchy little tunes and beats (F R E E, That spells free credit report.com baby) and if they make us laugh, we’re hooked. But we aren’t hooked on the products, just the commercials. Don’t believe me? Let’s test it: Did you run right out and switch your car insurance to Geico because you fell in love with the Cavemen? Probably not. I did however get a caveman, sunvisor in Gamecock colors. I do love watching to see what they will do next. The disco caveman is too funny to me, the show was crap though.

Did you go out and buy a Serta mattress to get rid of the counting sheep? I think not. Do you shop exclusively at Macy’s because that’s where the stars are? Who can afford to? By no means am I saying that commercials never work. I truly believe in product placement and brand recognition. What do you think of when you see a black and white cow? However, we can’t always take advantage of these outstanding products because of lack of funds to spare. So we are truly entertained by the comic relief they bring but the company’s 4th quarter projected sales suck. Thus Economic Stimulus! Hmmm! Millions of dollars spent to make us spend money we don’t have.

Does this mean the companies should cease from making brilliant commercials? H no! What would we talk about the Monday after Superbowl Sunday? Plus, I have to admit. I’ve had my share of $5 footlongs! I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan… you get the idea!

Answers:
1. Subway
2. Netflix
3. Orkin
4. Geico
5. Serta Mattresses
6. T-Mobile
7. Nationwide
8. Toyota
9. Mastercard
10. Ebay
11. Pepsi
12. Orbitz
13. Cheetos

The State of the World Today

2008-04-27T17:18:00.000-04:00

In these days and times, the economy has reached an all time low or high depending on how you look at it. The Government is issuing Economic Stimulus Checks this week in the hopes of correcting some of the problems. But will this help? The number of well paying jobs, available healthcare to working class individuals and savings accounts are at an all-time low. Affordable housing, offers of low interest rates on loans and mortgages and community resources are scarce.

Taxes, services, and unemployment rates are soaring through the roof. Gas is almost $4.00 a gallon for regular, Grocery shopping is like paying a car note and the price of stamps has almost doubled. Almost .50 for one stamp? Are you kidding me? Credit card limits are super high with the credit card companies banking on the fact that we will need the money and not be able to pay it back thus owing them our first and maybe second born. Stress, sickness, and crime are steadily on the rise and divorce rates have peaked. Why? The economy. Does this sound like problems 3, 6, or 900 dollars per household can fix? Most of us will save the money for those ever emerging “Rainy Days”. Very few of us will put the money back into the economy.

The Bush Era has totally destroyed this country and our credibility. The self-esteem of the working class is dwindling because they cannot provide for their families. There is nothing worse than feeling inadequate and less than a man or head of your household when you work everyday and hard because you do not make enough to pay all your bills. This is even true with multiple income families.

Ask a young lady what’s going on nowadays and her response is “Ain’t nothing going on but the rent.” Quite a comical song but a true one, which by the way was made in the 80’s when we were in a huge recession. My parents were both laid off and my sister was just a month old. Which again coincidentally a Republican was in office (Regan and BUSH, Sr.) In the New Jack City Era it was remixed “For the love of Money, people will steal from their brother, For the Love of Money, people will rob their own mother. People don’t let money change you.” In today’s time Players are singing “You know it's hard out here for a pimp. When he tryin to get this money for the rent. For the Cadillacs and gas money spent. Because a whole lot of bitches talkin s**t. Has it gotten that bad? Oh yes. So what are we to do besides get 2nd and 3rd jobs and move strangers into our homes to split the rent? There is no Robin Hood to steal from the rich and give to the poor. So what do we do?

Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer because I’m in the same boat with 90% of working class Americans. I often cry myself to sleep at night worrying about how I’m gonna make ends meet. As soon as I think I’m ahead, that dag blasted Time Warner Cable will call. I’m often asked by others, “Where’s your faith in God?” I usually co-sign this kind of optimistic thinking and ask the question of myself. “God always makes a way,” I say. “He didn’t bring me this far to leave me.” “I didn’t survive surgery and post-op complications to be thrown away and beat down.” Truth is, we all face hardships and it is getting harder everyday. Sen. Barack Obama was right when he said working class members cling to their religion and guns, because I just expressed my belief in God and his ability to bring me through.

None of us knows what the future holds. We can only hope for the best and try our best to make it. We must plan our lives to the best of our abilities, set goals and strive to meet them. God will bless our efforts. Pray for me and I in turn will Pray for you!
Peace and Blessings.

Song For Me

2008-04-25T09:52:00.000-04:00

I'm a train wreck in the morning.
I'm a bitch in the afternoon.
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you.
I'm a puzzle yes in deed.
Ever complex in every way.
And all the pieces aren't even in the box.
And yet, you see the picture clear as day.

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you

I neglect you when I'm working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
and that's exactly what I mean.

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
and that's why I love you

lyrics by Beyonce Knowles
(Flaws and All)

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

2008-04-24T08:48:00.000-04:00

In today’s society, men and women alike place a lot of emphasis on looks, body type, hairstyle, fashion sense and complexion. Whether or not a man or a woman is attracted to the opposite sex is usually based on one or more of these attributes, at least initially. Models are getting thinner, plastic surgery is running rampant and high fashion has made its way into the mainstream. It’s all about Couture, Botox and Gastic Bypass. What we see on television only perpetuates this mentality. Shows like Extreme Makeover, The Swan, What Not To Wear, Dr. 90210 etc. all tell us we need to change in order to fit into the current perception of Beauty, which is thin, flawless, dressed to kill, and super sexy. This pretty much makes it impossible to truly get to know someone if they do not physically fit this stereotype. However, what you may consider road kill may be someone else’s king or queen. “Everyone has their own definition of Fine”, I always say.

Let’s take me for example. Growing up, I was always the fat girl with the big lips and acne. My so called friends treated me as such and let’s not mention the fact that I was virtually invisible to the boys. Well not invisible, they made fun of me from time to time. Yes, this hurt and yes it damaged my self-esteem. It wasn’t until college that this pain started to subside when I found myself in unfamiliar territory. A young man started to pursue me and changed the way I viewed myself. However, when he decided to leave me for another, he left me wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” Suddenly, all those feelings of inadequacy came flooding back again. It wasn’t until I graduated, got a place of my own and took on an independent attitude that I started to view myself differently once again. I realized that I was a hot commodity and any man would be lucky to have me. I had it going on. I had a good job, car, Bachelors and Master’s Degrees. So, why was I so unhappy? I would go out dancing with girlfriends and they would get all the attention. Men basically looked at me like I had the plague or something and I thought I was on my best game. But then again, people aren’t automatically attracted to everyone they meet. That doesn’t mean you have the right to be unkind to them, It just means that everyone won’t like you and you don’t have to like everyone who does.

It wasn’t until I found myself in the company of men who appreciated the fullness of my lips and hips, the thickness of my thighs and the curves of my calves that I started to truly feel sexy. They appreciated the smoothness of my shoulders and the pretty way my freshly painted toes rocked a pair of sandals. They liked the length and thickness of my hair and the way it played peek-a-boo with my neck. I was told I was Fine As Hell and I’d never heard that before. I got requests to let them stare at me in my swim suit and to wear heals and short skirts to show off my assets. No, my essence wasn’t for sale and no I didn’t put my body on front street, but I definitely got noticed by more than one man and that was very flattering for me, not to mention it bolstered my self-esteem. It was because of this that my true personality was revealed and these men were pr ivied to it exposing my greatest beauty of all, my heart. Is it that I suddenly shed the ugly ducking skin or did I find the puzzle or puzzles looking for the missing piece? I think the latter. Monique said it best, “Go out and find you a fat chaser and have a good time!” Meaning, don’t spend your time pursuing someone who finds you repulsive.

What I’m saying is there is always someone for everyone regardless of looks. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. One woman’s frog is another woman’s prince. You get the idea. Now, by no means am I saying don’t be on you’re A Game. I’m saying do what feels good to you and always look your best, but don’t feel you have to be a size 6 to be sexy or have to have hair down your back to be noticed. Be comfortable in your own skin. Don’t believe the hype. The one for you is out there. What looks good is not always good for you. But by the same token, if the thought of kissing this person makes you want to upchuck your lunch, they aren’t for you either. How will you know? Something inside you will tell you he or she is the one- this I believe and in this instance looks won’t matter.

And Then There Were Two

2008-04-23T10:58:00.000-04:00

With the economy in such bad shape, the citizens of the Good 'Ol United States of America are searching for much needed change. The rest of the world hates us and our President, mainly they hate us because of him. He believes being President of the United States means being President of the entire World. He waged a war to kill someone who threatened his father in his administration which means he sacrificed the lives of our sons and daughters to carry out personal vendettas. The national deficit is so high I that the $1.00 bill is at its all time low. Some countries won't even accept our dollar cause it isn't worth the paper its printed on. Gas prices are at an all time high, health care is damn near impossible to get, daycare prices are ridiculous and Monopolies like Time Warner Cable are raping us. So unless you live under a rock literally, you are feeling the crunch of this ever worsening economy.

Most of the members of the Republican party are in higher tax brackets then the rest of the country and aren't really affected by the economy. Therefore, the price of gas isn't hurting their wallets, the war in Iraq isn't affecting them cause their sons and daughters aren't there. They are too busy spending the trust funds laid out for them. So by this logic, the Democratic Party seems to have a finger on the pulse of the ordinary, modern-day American like me. Again, unless you are living under a rock you have been pr ivied to the epic battle for the Presidential Nomination waged by Sen. Barack Obama and Sen. Hillary Clinton. These two history making candidates are in a bitter fight to the end. Both think their policies concerning health care, education, the economy and the war are what's best for the American people. But which candidate really represents change? For me, the answer is Barack Obama!

Why? Let me answer this way....Ever since I've been eligible to vote there has been either a Clinton or a Bush on the ballot. I've been eligible since 1992. Yes, when Bill was in office we had an economic surplus for the first time in a long time. The American people were able to make a decent living as though it seemed. However, Wal-mart became a major monopoly putting smaller companies and stores out of business and then they shipped most of their jobs oversees to manufacture their products putting more Americans out of work. Hillary Clinton sat on the board of Wal-Mart for 15 years. Now, don't get me wrong, I love Wal-mart and shop there almost daily, but who is really benefiting from me spending my dollars there, the American people working to manufacture the products or the Walton family? Of course the Walton Family because Americans aren't manufacturing the products, some child in China is.

No, I'm not blaming Hillary Clinton solely for Wal-mart's decisions, but I am acknowledging the part she played. Sen. Clinton has attacked Barack Obama and called him an elitist and out of touch with the American People. Who had a 129million tax return? Who was able to lend their own campaign $5million for advertising? Sen. Clinton boasts of having so many years of experience, but her husband's 8 years in the white house doesn't count towards her experience.

America is ready for true change. Sen. Obama represents this change. Who better to understand and help fix the economy than someone who actually lived it. He watched his mother succumb to cancer because she didn't have adequate health care to cover the treatments needed. He understands the plight of the single mother being that he hasn't seen his father since he was two. During his time in the Senate he has had more beneficial legislation passed than Sen. Clinton, he voted against the war in Iraq, and he's worked in the trenches with real people.

Many people believe Obama can't win against John McCain. I disagree. Americans are struggling. Even the most racist person alive( yes racism still exists) will choose to eat well instead of starving daily and having their son killed in a senseless war. With that in mind, the number of people who need change far outweighs the number of people who are privileged enough to be considered upper class. John McCain represents a continuation of the Bush Era and policies. Its time to burn that Bush down once and for all. We don't need more lies and more lives lost fighting for someone else's freedom not our own. We have people in this country being tortured, wrongfully imprisoned, starving and homeless, sick and dying, unemployed and mentally ill. We need to take care of home first before we jump so far into foreign policies.

I personally will be doing all I can to help the Obama campaign win the nomination and the Presidential Election. Can we do it? Yes, We Can!!

Why is Love Blinding?

2008-04-22T13:09:00.000-04:00

A girl breaks up with her boyfriend and the very next day she sees him eating dinner with another woman. She cries and feels gut punched but quietly heals. Some months later after episode after episode, this guy drives up to the girl with the other woman in the car and speaks to her like life is all good. This girl still continues to have sex with this man and buy him things even after this guy furnishes the other woman's apartment and goes in debt over this woman. He lies to her and says he's out of town and won't return til a certain time and this girl visits another part of campus and sees this guy's car parked outside the other's place. He takes this woman on a Spring Break trip he and the on again/off again girlfriend was supposed to take together. He stood her up date after date and she still bought him a graduation gift even after he did not attend either of her graduations. Stupid right? Yeah, but the girl was in love and couldn't believe that all the things she and her guy had discussed and all the plans they made were actually all finished. Plus the sex was good so she thought.

Another girl is in college, living on campus and doing well in school. She meets a guy who is basically homeless at the time and falls quickly for him. ( Red Flag 1) He moves in with her into the dorms and basically gets her kicked out of the dorm. They get an apartment together and the drama begins. She quits school, gets a full time job to pay the bills and helps this guy get on his feet. He soon begins to take his checks to buy studio equipment as he is an aspiring rapper and other bs and she is left holding the rent bag time after time. She helps him buy a car before she gets one and is left to ride the bus to work while he drives. He doesn't let her borrow the car, but mind you her name is on the title. After years of mental and verbal abuse , cheating, using, manipulating and self esteem lowering the relationship is at its end for the 500th time and she is crying and wondering what she is going to do without him. Stupid right? Love says no.

A guy fresh out of high school falls for a young girl. Its all good in the beginning. He puts her and her wishes ahead of his and his family. Driven by emotion he leaves college and joins the military to be closer to her. All his money goes to this girl and her mother. He was basically a DAN, what I call a Dumb Ass Nigga. Argument after bitter argument, he still longed to be with her. With nose totally open, he was taken advantage of, used, abused etc. He finally woke up and realized how stupid he had been for so long and decided that he did not need this young lady and broke off the engagement. Why did it go on for sooooooo long? Love.

I've just laid out 3 scenarios of 3 actual people and their battles with the L Word. Why is it that when our heart gets involved with someone we let that person take us through hell and high water? Does giving your heart mean automatically trading in your brain and your independence? Loving someone shouldn't mean that you will take all kinds of BS from them and think that its all a part of the process. Love should not hurt us, but make us smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You should long for the next time you see that person and imagine them in your personal space when they are away. You should look forward to the phone ringing and scramble to get rid of the smile on your face before you answer. The person should be able to tell in your voice how you feel about them- giggly I say. This is what love feels like, not tears and anguish, anger, resentment, loneliness, headaches and gallstones.

Have I described a fairy tale? Yes and no. I believe you should feel that way about a person you are in a relationship with but is that realistic. Yes you are going to have problems, but is expecting to be happy with someone all the time that far fetched? I was told once that marriage is an investment and not necessarily for love. So who's right? Is it that you should put up with BS in a relationship because you are living in a million dollar home and driving the Hummer you desperately wanted or should you be independent and leave if your heart and emotions are not being satisfied? "Can't feed your family with love," I've heard before. So what do you do? Follow your heart or your wallet?

So why is love blinding? Well this is my answer, feel free to offer your own opinion. Love is blinding because we yearn for so long for all of the before mentioned emotions that when we experience that we don't want to let it go. When someone makes you smile, you want more of that feeling. When they make you laugh, you want to laugh more, when they make you moan you want to moan more and louder the next time. You get so engulfed in emotion that you don't see all the stupid stuff you are doing or how you are being used. That girl he was with at the coffee shop was just a friend and nothing is happening there. That guy she was sleeping with in the bed was her childhood friend and they always slept together...totally innocent. He really needed that DVD Player with the surround sound in his bedroom so that his equilibrium would be constant. He really did need help decorating his apartment and wanted the bedroom suite you bought him, but when he took it back cause it wasn't the right color and kept the money, he really meant to give you the money back but fell on hard times.

We want the fairytale to be true so bad that we will do almost anything to get it. We go so far as to turn our backs on our friends, family, God. to be with this person. We are truly blinded to the fact that this person is an asshole leading us down the wrong path in life. Not to say that all relationships are like this..but the early ones usually are. Why? Because we don't know any better and are naive. It takes a relationship of this magnitude to open our eyes and make sure it never happens again. So, I say to all folks in love....Open your eyes people and really look. Do you like what you see?

Ursula's Bucket List

2008-04-21T11:20:00.000-04:00

Ursula’s Bucket List - Things I want to do before I Kick the Bucket!1. Go Skydiving 2. Have Sex under a waterfall 3. Visit the Cave where they laid Jesus 4. Visit the Pyramids 5. Get a tattoo or two or three 6. Swim with Dolphins 7. Meet Michael Jackson 8. Meet Oprah Winfrey 9. Learn to Belly Dance 10. Learn to work a "fierce" Stripper Pole 11. Bungee Jump 12. Surf "The Wedge" - Huntington Beach, California 13. Get 2nd holes in my ears 14. Visit the remains of the Titanic 15. Ride a motorcycle 16. Ride a Camel 17. Take a cruise to Alaska 18. Write a puppet show 19. Produce a One Woman Show 20. Go Deep Sea Diving 21. Get Arrested in a Political Protest 22. Break a world record 23. Become a member of the "Mile High" Club 24. Witness a Western Dessert Sunset 25. Ride a horse on a beach 26. Go wind sailing 27. Spit off the Eiffel Tower 28. Bathe in the Red Sea 29. Have sex on a black sand beach 30. Go Boogie Boarding with my son 31. Snow Board from the "Big Hill" 32. Fly on Airforce One 33. Have a reality Show - cause my life is full of drama! 34. Take A nude pic 35. Climb a rock wall 36. Photograph Africa and win a Pulitizer Prize 37. Wear a Bikini and look damn good in it! 38. Run the New York Marathon 39. Shave my head 40. Ice Skate and complete a jump 41. work Kermit the Frog and Meet Miss Piggy 42. Make a huge difference in someone’s life 43. Pay a major blessing Forward 44. Grace the cover of a Romance Novel 45. Spend a nite as a homeless person and document 46. Visit all 50 states 47. Visit all continents 48. Host a show on MTV or VH1 49. Have a billboard in a major city with my face on it. 50. Learn to complete a flip on a circus trapzee.